One Chocochip muffin please

Today, after a weeks’ morning jogs, healthy meals, relinquishing sweets, refraining from coffee and regular dance classes, I have realized that “It is impossible to lose weight”. After repeated reminders from my friends and family “itna meetha mat kha” I continued to live on sweets. I never bothered about weight coz I assumed that I’ll never grow fat. Even if I did, I’ll get rid of it in a day or two and never let that layer settle on me. I would crave for sweet and when I didn’t find anything sweet to eat, I would just eat raw sugar. What do you expect??? Now I am fat. Fat is ugly!!! And how much ever I try, all my efforts are going for a toss (even though it’s been only a week). It seems like ages when I had Gajar ka halwa in hostel or ate kalakand every time I passed by sweet shop, or had a chocolate fantasy in our canteen, or a cheese cake in Sweet Chariot.

“What the hell!!!”, I thought to myself and went down to have a piece of choco chip muffin dipped in chocolate sauce and ice cream, where I saw this huge lady who nearly took up the entire place near the counter leaving no scope for the person behind her to place an order. I was alarmed. What if I grow like her. I’ll destroy every mirror that couldn’t lie, I would never come out of my room, or even better, I would just get a knife and cut off the extra flab, I would…… while all these thoughts were running in my mind, I heard her say “One choco chip muffin with 2 scoops of ice cream”. I was taken aback. I couldn’t feel my legs. All sweaty and shocked I stood there when I saw everybody around, looking at me, pointing and saying, “That’s what u are gonna look like”…. Could I be any more terrified?

So now I have decided to give myself another week.

I wish I was like jughead who can eat till eternity and yet manage to be slim and lean. I wonder how that feels like?

Mumbai Meri Jaan

“Did u get a place to sit?” “Are you kidding me? I barely got place to breathe”. Just how tight packed are sugarcanes in a bundle, such is the scene in each compartment of Mumbai local trains, jam packed with people. If u have been to Mumbai and not travelled in local trains – either u r super rich who can afford to spend a bomb on petrol or you are just scared of being killed in a stampede by a flood of people, who no one knows where originated from or where will it end? Staying in Mumbai is tough but even tougher is commuting in Mumbai. My roommate is from a very small village, she would get up early in the morning to ring the bells of temple and pray that at least today she must get to enter the train. This is the plight of the people who come from elsewhere (they don’t want a place to sit, but just a place to stand). Others would just push each other and make their way through it.

Standing on a platform, waiting for train, I like to look around and observe people and how their conduct changes when the train is approaching the platform (especially ladies). They’ll laugh, chit chat, complement each other for what they are wearing, enquire about each other’s well being, harmonize or simply exchange smiles. But all this while, the only thought that is running in their mind is “I have to somehow push her back and grab a seat” or “Cool! she is wearing heels today, I can just hit her at the corner of her shoe” or “She looks depressed coz of the tragedy at home, I can surely win to her”… And the moment train arrives, no one knows nobody, each one for themselves, survival of the fittest. Every saying seems true. They would just hit, beat, slap, punch everybody around them and find a place to relax their back and listen to music. Almost 90% of ladies get hurt during this process. Either they crack their nails or get bruised or lose their accessories or even worse drop their hand bags under the train. And when the train is set on motion, once again everything is back to ordinary. Ladies are laughing and cit chatting again (Nobody minds the bloodbath, since that is what is on everybody’s mind). Even though they can’t move their head or reach their up hand to mend their hair or even if they are hanging in air squeezed between other ladies, they will somehow manage to eat their tiffin, read their prayers and take a small nap (all of those daily routine activities which they couldn’t complete at home as they were hurrying up to catch this train).

When the train is approaches the platform and ladies tying up their dupattas, changing their slippers into shoes, holding their hand bags tight and getting ready for the battle, I wait and watch. I am awed by this skill of fitting an entire gamut of people in a place meant for a hand full only. How much can you squeeze in so as to make a place for a whole bunch of people, when you thought that this compartment could not be more compactly packed? Isn’t it an art in itself?

Another fact linked with local trains of Mumbai is – The filth. Even if the dust bin is just a foot away, people would rather litter and keep up the tradition than try and make it clean. Pan spits everywhere, chewed gums sticking to everybody’s shoes and fat giant rats on the tracks under a pile of garbage- if this is the scene then “Mumbai Rocks”.

Haule Haule hogaye bore!!!

“Yippee! It’s Friday”. It’s the day a new release hits the box office. And I, being the biggest bollywood fan, wait for this day eagerly. Such was the enthusiasm this Friday when Rab ne… was supposed to release. Even though I am not a fan of Shah Rukh and would prefer Akshay Khannas’ movie to his, for some reason I was waiting to watch this movie (probably because of Shiamaks’ choreography). When I bought the tickets, spending as much as I could have bought 5 DVDs of F.R.I.E.N.D.S., I thought to myself that it better be worth it. But no, it wasn’t. It sucked.

It was boring as hell, sad to the core and so tedious that it wanted me to put my finger through my eye into my brain and churn it around. It was the story of a duo who for some reason gets wedded. It is a totally mismatched couple where Shah Rukh is an uninteresting chap who doesn’t converse much, he talk only to his tiffin, oils his hair, drives scooter and on the other hand Anushkha is a very bubbly and a chirpy person who loves to dance. So as a result she gets bored living with this guy and so does the audience. That’s the reason she enrolls for a dance competition where again she is paired up with Shah Rukh who has done a makeover and looks even more terrible. Throughout the movie you can’t help but notice his giant nose which has covered almost entire face of his. Now, this new Shah Rukh learns to dance to impress his wife (who hasn’t noticed that both the guys are same yet). Is she that blind? She is squint though. Only if you shave off your mustache, wear gaudy tee shirts, flashy glears and gell up your hair, is it possible that the person whom you are living with doesn't recognize you? With his brainless and dumb witted acts, he is even more irritating now but somehow manages to win Anushkhas’ heart. Movie is going well, till he realizes that his wife is falling in love with a total stranger (new Shahrukh) and is totally shattered when she confesses to the new shahrukh that she is unhappy with her married life and wants to run away with him. That is when this MCP decides to wait and see what step does she take next…. I am too bored to even complete the rest of the story. All in all, A Crappy Movie….

The only thing worth watching in the movie was the Dance and Music. The new comer is also quite stunning (even though she looks very ordinary and cant see straight). Shah Ruhk is old and ugly with wrinkles running from one end to the other and the huge, gigantic nose of his. He should probably retire from the industry now or start taking up more fatherly roles.

Those who haven’t seen the movie, please watch it in a cheap theatre or even better wait for some time till they start telecasting it on TV (which shouldn’t take long) and save up your money for Gajhini.

Nostalgic

Another entry about my school and college days!!! If u think I have gone foolish, then you must come and see me sitting in office now and weeping, gazing at my school and college pictures. 11^th and 12^th were the finest days of life. “Science boys and Commerce girls” was all each one had to discuss about when it came to the mischievous behavior of students in school. Those lab sessions, that hiding of shirts when guys played football, hiding under benches so that professor assumes no one is in class, locking up the door from inside so that teachers doesn’t find her way inside, hiding away their spectacles and their notes so that there is no ways they can teach us for the next few weeks, playing football in the class rooms and intentionally or unintentionally hitting it on the teachers head, breaking the glasses of crafts room, making plans to blow up Principals office on Diwali night but instead getting caught by a chowkidar with a mirchi bomb, trip to dream valley, Ramu (Maths teacher) running behind students who opened the buttons of his shirt, tricking teachers by changing names of some students (Parag to Maverick), bunking assembly and learning how to ride a bike, catching students for incorrect uniform and punishing them, those summer holidays and first light jogs, Srikanth making sure that none of us were absent and miss any of the regular work out, those cluster meets, canceling of football tournament and Srikanth ready to resign from the Head boy post, bidding farewell to our seniors by dressing up the boys as girls (Adrian being the sexiest of all), after the air show trying the same aerial tricks with cycles, locking up boys helmet in girls toilet, crushes on each other, sports day, going to Bombay Chat every evening after tutorial classes, getting punished for eating ice cream in class, hanging out in the cycle stand for hours after school till PT sir would kick us out, Parties at Parags’ house, asking PK to make his separate BOYS line (he was the only guy in Commerce section then), those craft sessions when we emptied fevicol bottle on Srikanths’ hairy hands which in turn gave him a waxed look, Bodhi doing Adrians duck walk, two faced NT, Deepak- Chandu and his cycle (poor Chandu was all black-and-blue every time he asked Deepak for a ride); Parag running in hot sun around the play ground to shed some kilos after everybody had left for home, Sam (The Rock Star) and his super bike and guitar, Vinu with flowers and Shudu with her 16 cards, Our obsession with learning Bengali, Sharma sir and his sad love story (where he got married to his lover), writing a note for sanam and throwing it out of the window, Kanth banging his head on the ceiling, Usha Ashok hitting on Bodhi and NT hitting on Parag and Deepak, Priyankas’ colored hair (Ma’am thought it was coz of lack of vitamins), Deepika and her most harmonious behavior, when Parag got all cranky coz I got the most studious student title, rivalry between NT and Banjo and Ravi fueling it even more, Keshav: Mamas' boy (he wouldn't even drink water from the tap coz his mom asked him not to and would cry in front of teachers) but was everybody's eye candy, Aarti and all her nautanki (when Sam hit a stone on her specs making a huge hole in it and she thought she had lost her eye), Vinu: with duniya bhar ka oil on his head, Akshay-Sandy-PK: the trio of Commerce section, Bodhi:with his exaggeration and sarcasm, and the best one being when Deepak shaved off his mustache for the first time and Aastha was laughing the most, so to shut her up Deepaks’ reply, “Aastha I felt the same when u shaved for the first time”

…. And yet after all this scoring the highest and proving as the “Most intellectual batch” in the history of school.

I miss u

We never bothered to ring her bell, but would just give her a missed call and she would understand that we were waiting under the tree behind her house. She would quietly sneak out and we would set out for yet another “Evening Walk”, full of adventure, mischief, drama, action, gossip, singing songs, playing fool, and laughing away to glory. Laughing out so loud that tears would roll down our cheeks, our stomach would start aching and people within a radius of 500 mts would know that we are upto something. We didn’t bother about anyone. We would dance like no one’s watching, we would ramp walk like we are super models, we would play like innocent kids, we would fight like wild cats (physical wrestles included), we would go up the hill and study as reading in a library was too mind-numbing, before leaving for an exam we would fight on whose vehicle is lucky and who is gonna drive, after every evening run we would hog onto Pani puri and chocolates, every second day we would be in non talking terms and detested each other so much like they are the only nasty piece of work in my life. Thanks to her we always reached college late (even though I would reach her house on time, she would take hours to eat her HEALTHY breakfast). We were partners in crime, but people loved us.

And then we pledged that we would call each other every day. Now years have passed by. We don’t call often (rather once in 2-3 months), but whenever we talk it seems like just yesterday when we would hide up in a corner of our house and talk in the middle of the night over the phone for hours, when we would wake up each other during exams and teach the portion we had learned up, when we would sit together on the railing of our terrace and spit or throw water at those who passed by, when we would cry and comfort each other. They know I love them, just like I know they love me. Now everything has changed. We have grown up, matured, experienced, responsible, and accountable but that teenager always wants to go back in time and cling. I never wanna grow up. I don’t want these responsibilities, I don’t want to live on my own, I don’t want to pay my own rent and wash my own clothes. Every day after office I wanna go home where my parents are waiting for me, where my dog comes and gives me a hug, where I cuddle up with my sister while sleeping (and she would draw a line on the bed which I was not supposed to cross), where I have something to look forward to, where they are waiting for me for an “evening walk”, where ma cooks food for me and I don’t have to bother about eating on time before the mess closes down, where Bapu would write my speeches for debate competitions, where I don’t have to bother if the bai has cleaned my room.

I miss those days. I miss them. I miss being stupid and immature (even though many of u claim that I still am stupid and immature).

I guess this is life all about CHANGE

Real problem

Waking up in the morning has always been a challenge for me. When I was in school and exams on my head, I would rather study all night rather than setting up an alarm for morning. Nothing has changed since then. Even today (when I am a working woman), everyday without fail, I set up an alarm for 6 am so that I can go for a jog, work out a little before leaving for work. Everyday when I look into the mirror, I swear by myself and set up a time limit that within a month I’ll lose weight, I’ll wake up early and exercise. Par Itihaas Gawah Hai that day has never come.

But “enough is enough” I thought yesterday before sleeping and had made up my mind that if I don’t go today I’ll never lose weight. At 6 in the morning when alarm started ringing, I got up. In my sleep wore my track pants and T-shirt and lied down on bed again. I was too sleepy and could hardly open my eyes. While lying on my bed I thought of the promise I had made to myself and it terrified me. I woke up, went for a jog, came back and did some yoga, had my breakfast and everything was bang on time. I was feeling fresh and new. I saw so many people on street at 6 and thought to myself “If they can, so can I” and I will.

Only if you can overcome that moment of getting up from bed and walking to the washroom, then your battle is won. That is the only difficult part. After that life becomes easier and you feel light and healthy. (though as the day passes, you start feeling sleepy towards the afternoon=)).

I hope I can maintain this routine.

Heroes

News papers are full of news about a change required in the security forces, about more rigorous training campaign for our troops, about more sophisticated weapons, and more of non corrupt and strong men to fight the bad ones and protect us. Also, while the entire world is busy debating upon how to give it back to the terrorists, media still finds time to gossip about bollywood. Who broke up with whom, who called whom fat and was called ugly in return, who is the sexiest dad of bollywood, who needs a haircut……

I wonder if Bollywood and our security forces could be linked together. Actors like Rajnikanth, Sunny Deol, Suneil Shetty, Hritik Roshan, Kamal Hassan, and Anil Kapoor should be asked to join the forces and be sent to fight wars. Just a handful of them will surely win us victory. Of course they can do it. They can fly from building to building without breaking pin drop silence, they can push 100s of people all together with their hands, they can pluck huge trees and throw it like how we throw ice balls, each one of them have an aim that could put Arjuna (from Mahabharat) to shame, they can be invisible and trace the terrorists without any hassle, especially people like Rajnikanth and Kamal Hassan who master the art of ejecting a bullet out of their body (which was shot at them) in such a way that it pierces the shooter itself. They also practice the art called “somersaultasana” i.e. they can be in air and keep rolling with feet over head and back (somersault) till all the bullets in AK-47 are exhausted and so fast that it’s difficult to trace since they travel faster than their own shadows.

We don’t need huge Army, we don’t need police or any other security force, we don’t need to spend so much on the weapons for our country, actually we don’t even need nuclear bombs, we don’t need to be scared of a few gunmen, when our heroes are there to protect us.

back to Mother earth

“I can finally buy gifts for my parents without borrowing money from them”, was my first thought when I got placed. Even when the HR was talking to me and congratulating me, I couldn’t help but think of all the people I need to tell this to. I wanted to storm out of the room and call up my parents first.

The next thought was the money. In the placement room itself, with the panelists explaining us the pay structure, I was making my own calculations. “What will I do with so much money?” Where I live comfortably with Rs 3,000 a month, what will I do with the remaining 35,000/-. Even if I watch a movie every day, it will just sum up to some 3000 bucks. What will I do with the remaining? I will buy all that luxury for my parents and sister that I have always thought of. I will give it all to my sister and give a part of it to my parents, not for their daily needs, but to spend it on themselves (like the super rich people do). I suddenly felt rich.

1 month after work, when I got my first salary, I lived like a queen. I could now go to any showroom (no matter how expensive it is), I could now eat anywhere (not bothering about the prices), I could buy the cosmetics which I have always wanted to. I bought mama a diamond nose pin, went home and bought loads of gifts for Bapu, Mishti, 2 helper Bhaiyas at home. I spent like crazy. I felt rich.

Now, after 6 months of work, I am back to normal. With the LIC Policy, Hostel fees, Rentals, Commuting expenses, Hospital bills, Food, Gifts, at the end of the day I am all bankrupt. I haven’t been able to save enough money to even buy myself a phone. Now I wonder how I managed with just 3,000 a month where as now I am not even able to manage with 35,000 a month. Now I want more money. I guess this is what everybody goes through before they learn how to save.

Aftermath

CEO of Yes Bank, GM of Taj along with his entire family, Ashish Chaudharys’ sister and brother inlaw and a lot of big names were killed mercilessly in the “Mumbai Terror Attack”. When I read paper on the first day that these people were also trapped inside, I knew that they will be saved because in attacks like this, big people never die. But after reading this news I am sure that terrorists really don’t discriminate.

We went to Taj , Oberoi and Nariman House after the operations were complete. It was a very pleasant moment when I saw people taking autographs, shaking hands and clicking pictures with the NSG commandos claiming that “They are the real Heroes”. For the first time someone has shown so much of concern for troops in the Army, for the first time general public has made them feel proud of themselves.

Ever since that day, there have been rallies and peace marches every where all over Mumbai. Everybody comes out on roads and lights candles to pay homage to the lost lives. Emails conveying “Vote, but vote for no-one” have been circulated all over. Banner against politicians can be seen with every youth saying that “we want to be protected like your families”. People wearing “Enough is Enough” T-shirts can be seen everywhere. Youth has finally woken up and is going door to door convincing senior citizens (who need to be told again and again) to vote for no-one. Mumbai Muslims had their own rally saying “Pakistan to be declared a Terrorist State”. Other few banners said, “Where are my Taxes?” , “Missing- Raj Thackeray” , “Don’t be scared of the ones who come through Boat, be scared of the ones who come through Vote”, “Deshmurkh- a film by Raj Gopal Verma”, “Whom are we fighting: Internal Demons or the External Terrorists” , “Politicians, kuchh to sharam Karo”. National Anthems could be heard at every corner of the city and was joined by several old aged, crippled and the entire work force.

It was a very pleasant site to see that finally the youth has woken up and was joined by many film stars too. This time the 26/11 Mumbai massacre will not go down in the history as “Another sad day to mourn” but will be written in bold letters as “The day Youth of India was awakened”.

“Gandhigiri got us Independence in 1947, This time it will be AK-47”

Feeling High

I have been promoted to a Senior Officer. To many, its not a big deal since it is bound to happen after 6 months of your joining. Anybody who sticks around for 6 months and performs just about okay becomes a Senior Officer. But it is a big deal for me because I know I have done a good job. My performance Appraisal form is full of praises for me. (Not that I am boasting or anything) I got an overall FE(Far beyond Expectation) rating . Before joining everybody had warned me “Corporate world is scary, people will try to pull you down, no one helps anybody, and everyone is for themselves, especially in Mumbai its difficult coz of the cut throat competition, blah blah blah…” I was scared. Never wanting to join the corporate world and always cribbing why I couldn’t be a choreographer.

But I survived. Not only did I survive, I am “FE”… I have a perfect job, perfect Boss, perfect Colleagues, and perfect work environment. After school I never thought I could have so much fun anywhere else but now I am having lots of fun at work.

People have this notion in their immature minds that workplaces are scary, and have made a prejudice that work is to earn money so that we can spend that money with our families in the time we are not at work. To counter this, how much time do u get to spend with your family anyways? Most of the time you are in office slogging like a donkey and thinking of ways to impress your boss and make him believe that no one else is better than you. By the time you get back home you are too tired of all day thinking of how you can pull the other person down and get promoted, or simply making more business and want to relax. So when do you spend and enjoy all the money that you have earned?

Wouldn’t it be a better option to enjoy work like you enjoyed school? Help each other with work like u helped each other with studies? Help each other in meeting targets like you helped each other in assignments? Take out time for each other, Gossip, share secrets, laugh, Make fun people wearing funny dresses to office and at the same time work hard. Go to office on time and leave on time so that you have time to spare for your gym, music, hobby, etc. (Trust me office time is more than sufficient to complete your work, which is why they have dedicated 9 hours for it). But while you are in office give your 100% to work and in the tini mini breaks socialize with your colleagues.

I know, just one promotion doesn’t give me the right to give advices, but I am just too happy and wanted to share what I do to balance my social and work life. And I am glad that I am able to manage and give time to every important aspect of my life (or maybe because at this level I am not burdened with pile of work?)

26/11

I heard some crackers bursting and thought that the naughty kids of the colony have gotten back to their business and got back to my movie. Soon after, it was in news, “Mumbai on War”. 10 kids (Kids they were, all aged 20-25 yrs) came by sea and set Mumbai on fire. I knew that this could be solved in few hours and Mumbai will be back to its routine soon after. But I knew very little. My hostel being so close to the attacked areas, I could hear fire shots and Grenades blasting all day and night which continued for 56 hrs. Now even a spoon falling shivers me. I have seen such scenarios on TV and movies but never saw or experienced it in person. It was very different. Where on one hand people who were trapped inside the Hotels were terrified and being killed, on the other hand people residing in the neighboring areas were all excited and enthu about the bullets being fired. Some of them would just call up their friends to make them hear the noises of Bullet shots, Blasts, people Dying, Ambulances, Taj on fire…. In spite of repeated pleas from the security forces to the public to stay in their houses, they all were on street crowding the area much more than any other usual day. I wonder if they thought a movie was being shot. When a spectator got shot on his arm, people around him started clicking his pictures instead of giving him a helping hand. Another spectator who got shot on his finger went about showing it in the camera rather than shout for help. I really amused me how people in India are so television savvy. They would go to any extent to be on television.

Media was annoying (There were mixed reactions though). Where it was providing us a service by telecasting everything live, It was also providing a service to the master planners behind these attacks by revealing our plan of actions. Considering the part where it was a hindrance in carrying out the entire operation, I wonder what they want. Do they want to get every news before even the people in action get it? Or do they want to cover every incidence before it has actually taken place?

Another question that was running in my mind was “Where was the so efficient Mumbai Police?” Just a couple of days back I had been to a function organized by Bollywood to salute Mumbai Police as they are the most efficient police after Scotland’s. At that moment I wondered if these “civilians” have ever conducted such shows for the Army? Have these civilians ever been to J&K and seen how everything is being managed by the Army? Have they ever known a person who has been posted in the Border and stays away from family for years? Have they ever known a person who has killed people(which is not easy) so that they don’t kill you? Have they realized that the only force that is efficient and non corrupt and disciplined is the Indian Army? The only force that comes to rescue when our nation is in danger is the Indian Army. So why aren’t such shows conducted for us? Well, my point was proven right. Now the entire nation agrees with me that Indian Army rocks. When Police of Mumbai couldn’t do anything (not even prevent these terrorists from entering the Mumbai border), they called on the Army to protect them. When we heard army helicopters above our building, we knew that we are gonna be safe now. Then I was proud to be an Army officer’s daughter.