Israel - Palestine: Who's right? Who's wrong?

Last few days, my brain has been completely taken over by history of Israel- Palestine, and my sleeps are broken by nightmares of their radicals. The more I read about it, the harder it gets for me to comment, because there are million opinions. To comment on Israel – Palestine/ Hamas, I had to dive deep into the history of Israel (which by the way, a lot of Arab countries still don’t recognize), and Palestine 

And unfortunately, I still don’t know who’s right and who’s wrong. 🙈

While in southern Israel, Hamas’s terrorists broke into a room where a family of five was hiding and slaughtered every one of them. In Gaza, a father wrapped in gauze held his child, butchered in an Israeli strike, for the last time. 😢

So, here’s a moral test: Do you believe that it is wrong for innocent people to suffer this way? That mass death should be criticized, not defended, regardless of who its victims are? If the answer to either of those questions is no, then you are a morally broken person. 👈

👉 We’re asking Israel to cease fire; but why aren’t we asking Hamas to return those 230 hostages? 

👉 Media is covering stomach wrenching stories from Gaza hospitals displaying unimaginable conditions of children; but why isn’t it showing how are the Israeli hostages being treated (many of whom are children)? 

👉 If we’re asking US to defund Israel; in retrospect, we’re empowering Hamas (which is a terrorist (Oops, the governing authority) organization of Palestine) to keep on with its atrocities towards Israel.

To take one side or another would need deep dive into the history; and truly being aware of both sides and not just being fed one narrative. 

Currently, the Israeli government is rounding up on a ground invasion of Gaza that threatens to come with unimaginable human loss. The callousness with which they are talking about civilian deaths as “collateral damage” Gaza is appalling.

When the defense minister talks about cutting off electricity and water to Gaza, he speaks only of fighting Hamas “animals” — not of the hospital patients and formula-fed babies likely to die as a consequence.

Evil 

On the other side, Hamas does not gleefully post pictures of Israeli children executed in their beds. Instead, they cheer for pictures of Hamas breaking down the border fence with Gaza, calling it “decolonization” — ignoring that Hamas fighters broke down those fences to commit intolerable acts of mass slaughter.

This. Is. Evil. Too

I do not pretend to know exactly what the right choice is for Israel going forward. But I know that if someone would attack my homeland, kill 1400 innocent people, rape women, slaughter kids, and take 230 hostages; I would be raging too. 

I also know that justice for Israelis and Palestinians cannot be found through a mode of thinking that says only one kind of life is holy.

There are good people, kind people, in both Israel and the Palestinian territories — brave souls looking to help those on the other side, amid unspeakable tragedy, and together make the land they share safe for everyone. Some of those people have already been killed by the other side; more will likely die in the coming days.

Some of us see a power imbalance that makes it impossible for Palestinians to triumph in anything like a conventional war. So, we’re asking: How do you want Palestine to resist? What can they do when they’re are so weak?

Others are essentially asking the same question. Israel is facing remorseless murderers who once used a hospital as their headquarters. They’re using humans as shields. They have a right to defend themselves and get their hostages back. And if they don’t, Hamas will keep terrorizing them. What can they do?

You can see where both of these perspectives are coming from. It’s true that Israel has overwhelming power and is using it to collateralize Palestinians on a daily basis. It’s also true that Hamas is a vicious group dedicated to a violently antisemitic worldview, one that has no qualms about brutalizing Israelis.

But by taking one set of facts in isolation of the other, we are displacing our own moral obligations. 

If your brain is not broken by now, then read on as I think there is only one way this decades-old conflict can end: with Israelis and Palestinians, including their leadership, finding a way to live in peace. A two-state solution. The most obvious one! 

Our role, as outsiders, should be to help foster this belief. 

More broadly, we need as outside observers to maintain basic human values in ourselves: to see the victims on both sides as humans, to care about suffering, and to attune our statements and activities toward finding ways forward that can improve the situation. If we allow ourselves to slide into moral supporting only one side, we won’t merely justify atrocities; we will blind ourselves to the steps that can be taken to actually make life better.

We can and should extend sympathy to Israeli victims, but we should not let that shade into justification for retaliatory atrocities. We should condemn Hamas terrorism, but we should also condemn Israeli abuses against Gazans.

Criticize Israel when it slaughters Palestinians and criticize Palestinians when they slaughter Israelis. 

This is not just how we say the right things about the Israeli-Palestinian conflict: It’s how we, in the end, will figure out how best to contribute to peace down the line. 

To think otherwise, and find fault only with one side, leads to the moral oblivion of cheering the slaughter of children.

Eight is Enough!

 Ok Sweet Buddy…. Eight is Enough. 

Anytime you want to stop growing and remain just as sweet, innocent, and full of joy as you are right now, I’m game.  

Your reply to this is usually, “but mama, I don’t know how to stop growing?” 

Or 

“But mama, I want to be 12 so I can get my own phone” 

Little do you know that your dad might push that age limit by another 5 years 😉 

I’ve now known you for 8 years and I love you more each morning and each evening. I am excited every day to pick you up from school and listen to all you have to tell me each day. Even if it is, “I’m sorry mama, I lost my jacket again”. 

That’s right! This was the third jacket in 3 days. But oh well! At least you were sorry 😉

Taking a moment to share this picture (I grab any opportunity to bring this one up). 

After 17 hours of labour, at 5:17 PM, my perfect 8.1 pound gorgeous baby boy graced this planet with his presence. The world’s been a better and brighter place since then. With your eyes wide open, clean as if you’d just had a bath, and a head full of hair neatly pulled to one side, you were ready for a photoshoot since day 1.

Ansh, you are such a kind and a smart kid. But what truly stands out about you is your high emotional quotient. You’re so empathetic and always aware of your surroundings. Making sure everyone feels loved, you are very generous with your hugs and kisses too. 

However, this also means that you have such a big heart, that it gets deeply impacted by things. Like, yesterday when I explained to you how paper was made, you came back home, went to your room, cried in a corner, and felt sorry for using all the paper in school. It took me a whole of 2 minutes to distract you with your birthday present 😉 

You can sense when Dia and Arth are seconds apart from pulling out each other’s hair, and you deflect them immediately. A perfect big brother. Dia and Arth are blessed to have you. You try to always say kind things. 

However, you are a bit of a smart mouth. Oh well, you get that from your dad. Like, the other day when I was mad at you for losing your new toy, and asked you, “where do you think we get the money from?”, your answer in a split second was, “a machine?” 

You’re witty, and your laugh is so infectious. 

You love playing chess and want to be a ‘famous’ chess player when you grow up. If not that, an ice cream man! But atleast, you have your options clear in your head 😉 

You also have a very strong mind of your own. There’s no winning an argument with you. Because everything ends with, “Mom, I don’t have to be perfect” 

“It’s okay to not like doing homework. I don’t have to be perfect” 

“It’s okay if my coloring is bad. I don’t have to be perfect” 

“It’s okay if my teeth get bad because I eat sugar after brushing my teeth. I don’t have to be perfect”

How did you get so big so fast Ansh? I want to cuddle and squeeze you forever. Even though this morning, when you lay on me and said that you will always be my ‘baby’, I can see the baby slipping away by the day, being replaced by a boy with a heart and mind of his own. I am raising you for these moments, but I confess to knowing I will miss the ‘little’ you. 

If there’s one thing I emphasize to you every day, it is, to love. You’ve asked me a few times what your religion is, and I have told you, it’s love. Give hugs, love with all your heart, express gratitude and treat everyone with kindness! It’s your superpower! 

It’s been an absolute pleasure to see you and Dia grow such a beautiful bond together. Dia is your biggest fan, and you make sure you live upto her expectations. You were once told that your number 1 job is to love and protect your sister and you take that job pretty seriously. 

Favorite part of my day is when you’re trying to make her laugh. Both of your laughs are so infectious that we all end up in splits. 

You are extraordinary Ansh. My heart melts when I watch you do the things you love, when you hug your sister, say thank you to a stranger, call your dad your hero or tell me you need a hug or if I can scratch your back 😉 

It is my honor to be your mom and to help shape you from this sweet boy into the young man you are becoming. 

I love you, my Buddy. 

Love, Mommy

Letter to my daughter on her 3rd birthday!

 

My darling daughter! 

‘DAUGHTER’.. oh goodness! How sweet that word tastes on my lips! It has been 3 years since the story of you was gifted to this world. When you took your first breath, the world changed for the better.

Last 3 years have passed so quickly, in a series of blinks & blessings. 

At some point this year you left toddler-hood behind, and started telling jokes, singing, dancing, and twirling through the world. You say, “Look at me guys” so often, and with the intention of making others laugh. It cracks everyone up in the room immediately. I never want you to lose that Dia. It’s a very rare skill to make people laugh and be able to laugh at yourself. I am proud of you. 

Pro Tip: A joke is funny once or maybe twice. When you keep repeating it, it’s essence wears off ;)

Your energy is so infectious. You laugh SO. BIG. In a deep old man voice sometimes. It’s hilarious. I try to get all of it on video. You will thank me later for all these million videos of you :) 

You smile with a twinkle in your eye. 

You jump with both feet. You want to try anything and everything, and you want to do it on your own.

You follow Ansh everywhere and want to be just like him. Sometimes you forget that you’re only half his size ;) 

Your favorite toys are whatever Ansh is playing with at that moment. You take it away from him, and then claim it to be yours. It’s hilarious because now Ansh has started tricking you into believing what your favorite toys are. ;)

Like, the other day, he wanted to play with his Bakugans, but he knew you’re going to take it from him. So, he started playing with his dinosaurs instead, and when you took those away from him, he took out his Bakugans like a thug. That moment was so precious to watch. Lol :)

We also trick you into eating medicine by feeding it to Ansh first, so you’ll try it too. Lol… I know, not the best parenting, but you want to do everything that your big brother does. 

Your fashion sense is epic. You choose your own shirts and pants. Most of them are either Dinosaurs or dinosaurs. You won’t wear anything other than that. For this birthday, I got you 4 dino shirts. 

You look just like your Nani. Even with a bald head (yes! We shaved your head this year. But you will thank us later for your amazing hair :)) 

You’re magic. Pure magic. Embrace it. 

You have a joy that other people feel. You don’t owe it to anyone, but know that when you share it, it truly is a gift. 

You are loving. When you wrap those sweet chunky arms around someone, the arms that haven’t quite stretched out and lost their baby rolls, it’s a balm for the soul. 

You’re absolutely fearless when it comes to heights and flips and turns. You’ve fallen down the stairs and heights so many times, yet it doesn’t scare you and you’ll try it all over again. 

You have achieved so much in the last 3 years. Laying down some highlights from last year: 

1. You started speech therapy this year. Mama and Dada were a little concerned that you weren’t speaking. You’d use sign language a lot, and get your way through communicating everything you needed, but you won’t say words. Your teachers say that you’re the most expressive kid in class because you communicate through expressions. However, mama got a little worried (read: panicked and anxious), and started therapy. And since your speech therapy started, you haven’t stopped. It’s the most fun to watch you use words, make sentences, and communicate. My favorite one so far has been, “I Love you, mama”, “Where is baby Arth?”, “Follow me mama”, “Look at me guys”, and “Not Stegosaurus. Not Brachiosaurus. I want a REAL dinosaur” 

2. When you say, “I want cup cake”, it primarily means that you want the frosting ;) You’re a sweet tooth, just like mama. You eat cake batter more than the cake. You lick condensed milk more than desserts, and you want to share all of mama’s chocolates. 

3. You transitioned from a crib to bunk bed this year. Suddenly you found this freedom at nighttime, and it’s a pain to put you to bed now. We hear laughter and giggles from your room, much after we’ve put you to bed. You love jumping on your bed, throwing things room one bed to another, and just climbing up. You’re not much of a sleeper. 

4. When we call you “Baby”, your immediate response back is, “No Baby. Dia” 

5. You love singing Happy Birthday. But when others sing it, you cover your ears and shout “TOO LOUD”. Funny part is, you’re being the loudest then ;) 

6. The most exciting of all, Arth has now moved to Seattle to be closer to you. You both have a love-hate relationship. You’d find a toy, and both fight over it until someone gets hurt. Yell, howl, cry and physically fight. And then one minute later, you’ll share the same toy like the scarring episode, a minute ago, never happened. 

7. You also watch out for Arth (sometimes). Like when he goes to bed, you’d ask everyone to shush, coz “Baby Arth is sleeping guys” 

8. This year, you took a trip to India. You got to meet your Dadu, Pashi, Fufa, Vidyut Bhaiya for the first time. You truly kept everyone entertained throughout :) 

9. You also visited Nani ghar, and was pampered beyond limits by Nanu and Nani. As you should be. Lol :)

10. The best of all.. The first time to said “Abhishek”, we all got very excited and laughed. And you thought that “Abhishek” is a word that makes everyone laugh. And since then, no matter where we are or what we’re doing, you’d just say out loud “ABHISHEK”, and everyone would burst out laughing.

11. Also, in-case you didn't get it from the previous 2 letters, and maybe all the future ones to come.... you are your daddy's princess. If it was to him, he would cradle you and wrap you up in his arms forever. You own all of his heart and some more :)

You’re so so funny my baby 

As you move into this year, my hope is that you will just keeping being the wonderful, funny, strong willed, and beautiful you that you are. As long as you remember that Mama and Dada loves you the most, and Mama is the best ;) Don’t worry about the latter. I remind you of that every day. 

My love, more than anything in this world, I want you to stay true to yourself, and all will be well. Stay strong, let your voice be heard, be kind, hold your family close. Know that you will always be loved, no matter what. And no matter how old you are, you will always be my Baby Girl. 

I know the twos were supposed to be terrible, but while they definitely had their challenges, watching you grow has been incredible. Hearing you say “I love you too” for the first time and getting your sweet kisses on my cheek coupled with your aggressive happy hugs has made the twos less terrible and much more fun (despite the tantrums and sassy “nos”). While watching you grow older and more independent is bittersweet, I’m looking forward to what the threes bring. I love you more and more with every passing day my sweet little girl. Happy Birthday!

With all my heart,

Love,

Mama