Just like that, One month already!!!

Well, I blinked and a month went by.

I haven’t had a chance to write an introductory post in this blog about my little snuggle bunny. Ansh (meaning: a part of your body) had 364 days to choose from, but he chose to be born on that one day he was asked not to. On his dad’s birthday (June 5^th 2015). Clearly, he has a mind of his own.

After 15 hours of labor and 2 hours of pushing, my sugar pie was born with eyes wide open; clean as if he had just had a bath and a head full of hair neatly pulled to one side. He somehow knew he would be bombarded with flashlights of many cameras as soon as he will be born. He was ready for a photoshoot!

I’ve never been a “baby” person. Never been around a baby because something in me believed that I can never love a baby. Which is why, I surprised myself when I cried with an overwhelmed heart filled with truck load of love for my new born baby. I fell in love instantly. Well, look at him… can you blame me?

He is the snuggliest (is that a word?) baby there ever was.

Today he is a whole one month old. Honestly, the first month of his life in this world completely flew by. It feels like just yesterday that I went into labor. I remember clearly the days leading upto his birth like they just happened. I remember writing my feelings in this blog about what it’s like waiting for him, the anticipation and excitement….. and now, just like that, he is one month old already! Yet it’s really hard to believe I could ever imagine life without him.

In a lot of ways, this month went by slowly. But it also feels like it went way too soon for me to have a 1 month old. Did I do all the things I wanted to do with my newborn? Is he still considered a newborn now that he’s 1 month old? 

I thought it would be fun to share a few of the things that I distinctly noted as “so this is what they meant when they said. . ” when it comes to motherhood. 

1.     I have been spotted swaying even when I’m not holding my baby

2.     I can spend hours just staring at his beautiful face (particularly, his eye lashes)

3.     I learned (with a quickness) to do things with one hand, or with my non-dominant hand.

4.     I do laundry constantly. Now, the loads of laundry are small and the items being washed are also small, but I have been washing clothes non-stop since June 5^th. He has a knack for spitting up right about the time I finish getting him dressed. There have been many outfit changes during the day (both his and mine)

5.     Not just laundry, but I have been cleaning and mopping the floor 15 times a day. There have been some pee instances on the floor as well.

6.     Having a baby is a lot more fun than people tell you. He constantly makes so many faces that crack me up and makes me wonder “what took us so long to get here?” ;)

7.     Nothing is scarier than peeking in on your sleeping baby only to realize his eyes opened as soon as you entered the room. Closing a door silently is an art form.

8.     A 15 minute shower with the door locked feels like a day at spa

9.     We have never spoken about poop and constipation in our house so much as we did in the last one month.

10.  The most exciting part of my day is when my baby burps, poops or spits up. And yet, I wouldn't trade it for anything in the world.

11.  I have realized that I can fall asleep faster than my baby

12.  After spending an entire day with Ansh, I still dream of him. I miss him so much

In general, Ansh has been a very easy baby. I don’t wanna jinx it, but he sleeps a lot (he has taken after his parents on that), poops a lot (yes, that is a criteria), and has been gaining weight well. When I hear stories about other new moms who haven’t had any sleep in days, I thank god for adequate rest. We aren’t very close to having a schedule yet, but Ashish and I have been lucky to sleep for 5-6 hours straight at night fairly often. He’s truly been a delight!

Of course, he has had a few fussy days and times. There have been days when he hasn’t slept at all. In turn, we haven’t slept. Sleep deprived Deepali and Ashish can be pretty dangerous. Like the other day, both Ashish and I fell asleep on the bed with Ansh lying on Ashish’s chest. I had warned Ashish to put Ansh back in his Bassinet because I knew Ashish would fall asleep before Ansh did, but he assured me that he wasn’t sleepy. After a while, Ashish woke up absolutely puzzled yelling, “Where is Ansh?” That’s when we found Ansh had slipped out of Ashish’s grip and fallen on the bed out of his swaddle (which was still in Ashish’s arms ;))

We had another such night when Ansh woke up at 2am and was asking for milk (read: Crying). But both Ashish and I had passed out and couldn’t hear our ONLY child’s cry. That’s when my sister woke up and tried to wake us up and we kept asking her to wake up the other person. And then, I don’t remember what happened ;)

In a nutshell, the last one month went by way too fast with all the diaper changes, washing constant loads of laundry, feeding, burping and pooping. 

Now, I don't wanna sound too cliche, but all the 9 months of pregnancy was totally worth it. 

Here are some of the milestones he has achieved in the last one month:
Grabbing my hair (though I don't think it's intentional right now)

·         Holding his head up for around 10 seconds

·         Becoming more alert - he looks around at his surroundings and I catch him watching me. Ashish's silly and thinks he can't see, but I know he can see more than that!

·         Smiling - yes I know it's probably just wind but I like to think he’s actually a happy smiley baby!

·         He is tiny, but very expressive. He makes faces to crack us up (maybe not, but I like to believe he does)

I am soooooo in love. Thanks for making my life so much more special Ansh

40 weeks and still pregnant

In the last few days I have been talking to myself more and more. I’ve had the restraint to keep the conversations within my head, but sometimes I chatter out loud. In those cases I like to pretend I’m talking to my baby, but I’m really talking to my uterus. “Get out! Get out! Get out!” is usually what I’m found yelling.

I wake up everyday, take a shower, make my hair, put on a nice dress (which is basically one of the two dresses that fit me now), eat my breakfast and then wait… wait to get into labour.

Just when you thought that the last leg of pregnancy would be the easiest, here’s what I think – IT’S NOT. The discomforts of late pregnancy are easy to Google: painful pelvis, squished bladder, swollen ankles, weight unevenly distributed in a girth that makes scratching an itch at ankle level a feat of flexibility. I sometimes wonder, can pregnancy last forever?

I’m writing this post with a perspective of a woman who’s now 40 weeks pregnant, and who was hoping to have her baby at 36^th week. In the last 4 weeks, I went through the 5 stages of emotions: Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression and Acceptance.

Denial: It all started with shock. “I can’t believe I haven’t had this baby yet. I predicted I would be having him early- yesterday to be specific- but that did not happen. How is it possible that I’m still pregnant? I thought my belly dropped, but maybe it didn’t? Maybe I’m not as pregnant as I thought I was”.

Anger: “I am angry that I’m so immobile now. I’m angry that I need help to tie my shoe laces. I’m angry that my baby is not yet ready to join the world. I am ready for him. Why is he not?”

Bargaining: “Please God, Please. I’ll try everything – walking, castor oil, pineapple, squatting. Please let today be the day….”

Depression: “What’s the point of getting out of bed? I wanna lie on the couch all day. I anyways hate it when passersbys sympathise with me.”

Acceptance: “The baby will arrive when he is ready. That could be today (hopefully), or maybe not. I have accepted that he has a mind of his own. As long as he doesn’t come on his dads’ birthday (which is so close to his due date), I don’t care when he arrives.”

In the meanwhile, I want to make a list of things that people around overdue pregnant women should not say. Now, if you are reading this and you have said any of the following things to me, DO NOT feel bad. I forgive you. I still love you loads J I just blame my crankiness on hormones, blood pressure, or the lack of sleep.

But in all seriousness, it’s really okay. This is meant in good fun. But I’m also 100% serious and if you say any of the following to me, I will find you and sit on you.

So here it is:

“Baby will come when baby is ready.” Really? I had no idea.

“Well, you know due dates are really quite arbitrary, right?” Yep, doesn’t make the fact that I’m “past” it any easier.

“Have you tried walking, eating spicy food, eating pineapple, yoga, sitting on an exercise ball, castor oil, jumping jacks?” Yes, trust me. I have tried ALL of the things. Name it. I’ve tried it. And then some.

“Wow, you’ve probably got a HUGE baby in there!” Are you saying I’m fat? Are you calling my kid fat? Either way, this one is a lose / lose for you.

“Oh, you just look so uncomfortable.” Thank you, Captain Obvious.

“You haven’t had the baby yet??!” Clearly I’m standing here still pregnant. So, nope!

“When’s that baby coming?” Good question.

“Why haven’t you had the baby yet?” Good question. Because it hasn’t decided to be born yet.

“Well, do you know when the baby is coming?” No, unfortunately I don’t. You see, I was given this “arbitrary” date that the baby was supposed to come by, but it hasn’t come yet. So, nope.

“You know, most women who are this late end up just having to be induced.” Fantastic. How encouraging.

Now remember, this is all in good fun. No offense. But seriously, stop saying these things to me ;)

Meanwhile, I decide to have some fun!!!

36 weeks and counting

Woah! I’ve finally completed 36 weeks (or as I prefer to say, I’m in my 37^th week). My baby is now watermelon size and he might be born any day now. 

I am sooooooo ready to see him. My maternity leave has started; my nursery is decorated; the change table is loaded with diapers, wipes and creams; his clothes are washed, ironed and organized; the car seat is installed, my hospital bag is ready and the camera is charged. It’s only a wait game now.

Every night as I settle into my snuggle pillow, my mind races. What is left to do? Am I going to go into labour tomorrow? What will his eyes look like? I hope he gets his dad’s eyelashes…. Is it worth it to walk all the way to the other room for Tums? Couldn’t my bladder wait for 30 more minutes? The nights are endless and filled with both excitement and pain.

I wake up every morning hoping that I’ll go into labour today. Of course I don’t want him to arrive until he is ready, but I wish that he would be ready today. Slightest movement in my belly and my mind thinks it’s a contraction.

Tomorrow I see my obstetrician for my weekly checkup and I hope this is the last time I see her. I might come across as a little impatient right now, but I’m miserable in my HUGE body. My feet are swollen. I mean SWOLLEN. They don’t even look like my feet at this point. Random strangers on the street come upto me and wish me an early delivery because my ankles look like they are going to burst any moment now.

To keep me a little motivated and share some laughs, I have created whatsapp group with my friends called “Baby en route”. We are now placing bets on when we think he’s gonna come.

 It will all happen soon enough though!