Working 3 full time jobs: Entrepreneur + Dance Instructor + Mom

Hola! 

This post is more of a ‘laundry list’ for me, than anything else. When anyone asks me, ‘what I do all day’, instead of narrating the entire list, I needed a post that I can just forward to them ;) 

People have a misconception that I dance all day. Lol. How I wish that was true! When I quit my corporate career for dance, I went from working 9am - 5pm to working 6am – midnight. And funnily enough, most days I don’t even get to dance. 

So, what DO I do all day?

Let’s list it down: 

1. Admin: 

A major part of my day goes into admin work - scheduling, registrations, website management, replying to hundreds of emails every day. If you see me on the phone while talking to you, I promise you I’m not checking the views on my insta reel. I’m replying to the non-stop inquiries I receive regarding classes, all day every day. 

I remember the time when I was on vacation and my phone didn’t get any reception for a day. It almost felt like a signal from the universe to take a break, which I did. And the moment I got my reception back, there were some ‘not so happy’ messages in my inbox due to my ‘unresponsiveness’. I can’t afford to not respond to all the messages I receive. 

Though, one could argue that, at this moment, I have 284 unread WhatsApp messages ;) Yes! Yes! I will get back to you shortly. 

I usually return calls back, when I'm driving. That's the only time I get to talk on phone. 

2. Social media management: 

My alarm is set for 6am. That gives me an hour to promote classes for that evening before I must wake up Ansh for school. 

If you manage social media, you know that it’s a full-time job in itself. After dropping Ansh to school, I sit in a coffee shop to work, till it's time to pick him up from school again. Throughout the day, in various spurts, I spend time on emails, marketing, writing content, posting stories, promoting classes, and engaging with my community in whatever capacity possible. 

3. Accounting:

The most tedious, boring and monotonous part of my day is spent on accounting. I’m bored even while writing this ;) If you know me, you’ll know I’m very bad with handling money, ergo I need to keep a regimental stance with my bookkeeping. 

That includes tracking and recording expenses, revenue, refunds, tracking and most often following up on payments, making payments, filing quarterly taxes, renewing licenses. Uff! I can't tell you how many times I have paid penalty for filing late taxes. But in my defense, filing taxes quarterly is too much to ask for ;)

I’ve also been playing the role of a debt collector recently. At this point, I’d like to remind you: I’m only ONE person. 

4. Studio Operations: 

Before you tell me that my signage is still not up, or a bookshelf would look good at the entrance,  remember that I was probably up late last night trying to find a locksmith to break open the lock of a door that Ansh accidentally closed shut in the studio. Or I was filing a police complaint against a graffiti artist who has been tagging my wall every other day. Or figuring out how I am going to pay for that additional expense of fixing heating in my studio. 

From making sure the studio is functional, that there’s drinking water, air conditioning is working, toilet rolls, handwash available in the studio, cleaning supplies topped up, first aid box is stocked, to coming in early to clean up the studio before every class. I am usually always running like a bunny all day. 

Reminder to self: bring batteries for the wall clock at reception ;) 

5. Business Growth opportunities: 

At this point, if I get any time to breathe during the day, I spend it on exploring opportunities to grow the business. Networking, studio rentals, merchandise, corporate classes, collaborating with other businesses, bringing guest instructors, private workshops, etc. I have to admit, I don’t get nearly enough time to spend on this as I would like to. 

Hence, you haven’t seen any new merch yet ;) 

6. Content Creation: 

Amidst everything, maintaining social media presence for a small dance business like mine, means creating regular content. That is almost an essential. And when I say, ‘create content’, it means choreograph, practice a million times, coordinate with the group and videographer, arrange for costumes, and shoot. And additionally, arrange for a baby sitter to watch kids because God knows, shooting a video with kids around... well, that would need a whole another blog post. 

Shooting a video could take anywhere between 20 minutes to 4 hours. Taking that kind of time out from my schedule is a nightmare. So what options am I left with? 

Shoot videos early morning over the weekend, or late nights after putting kids to bed (also depends on the availability of our baby sitter). This cuts down on my ‘already short’ sleep cycle. Ergo, I always come with coffee ;) 

7. Community Building: 

As most of you know, Live2Dance is not just a dance school. It’s my family. It’s a community of the most amazing humans. And God knows, how much effort goes into building a community. 

From coffee dates to conflict resolutions, most of my early evenings are reserved for people of my community. I need to ensure that everyone feels welcomed, safe and loved in this community, and this is one of my fav parts of the day. 

About 1-2 hours a day is reserved for catching up with my dance family. I usually schedule this before evening classes, so after catch-up, I can hop into class directly. 

 8. Dance: 

I teach anywhere between 2 - 5 classes a week. Though, in 2020, that number was 2-4 classes a day. And most often than not, each class is a new choreography. I have a set of the most amazing and talented instructors. However, all of them work full-time and can only afford to take few classes per week/month. 

Being a business owner and seeing the kind of expenses I pay towards this business; I can’t afford to not have a class every day. Ergo, I end up taking more than I can chew, in desperation of generating revenue. So, when do I get the time to choreograph? Don’t ask. Sometimes I'm choreographing while driving to the class ;) 

But this is the only time I get to dance, and I cherish it with all my heart. Teaching is my passion, and it’s my happy place. No matter how busy or stressed my day has been, dancing makes it all better. I wouldn’t trade a thing for this. 

9. Being a mom: 

According to research, being a mom is the equivalent of working 2.5 full-time jobs. On an average, moms spend 98 hours per week doing mom duties. Raising healthy, and happy kids involves being their chauffeur, meal planner, life coach, professional hugger, teacher, friend, chef, housekeeper, event planner, manager, activities director and so much more. 

As I write this, I am sitting outside Ansh’s gymnastics class, waiting for him to be done and then headed to pick up Dia from daycare. From there, we have a birthday party to attend, and somewhere in between getting them dressed to driving them, I gotta pick up a birthday present. Need I say more? 

Ansh has after school classes on Mondays and Wednesdays, Gymnastics on Fridays and Snowboarding/ Soccer on Saturdays. Dia has swimming on Thursdays. Sundays are gone in Hindi school. Ashish and I split responsibilities here and drive kids to their activities. We do forget/ skip voluntarily sometimes. We slack on giving them the most nutritious food everyday. We forget about PTA meetings sometimes. When Ansh comes back home and reminds us that we forgot to complete his assignment, it breaks my heart. My house is a constant mess. And I'm forever in survival mode. 

I don't always get to read books to my kids, or play with them during bath time. By the time I get back home from classes, Ashish has already given them a bath and fed them. But I do try to make it before their bed time, to play with them right before we kiss them goodnight! 

10. Misc: 

I’m also my music editor, video editor, party planner, and community builder. I love to blog, take as many classes with other instructors to continue learning, and so on. 

So, amidst all this, when do I get “me time”? I don’t. But to be honest with you, I wouldn’t trade a thing. I love what I’m building. The satisfaction, the growth, the passion, the dreams that I get to witness every day is worth all the hustles. I fail often as a mom! But I’m sure my kids won’t hold it against me and will be inspired to chase their dreams instead.

My tricks to getting everything done in my day:

1. Make a list and start attacking it one by one. The first thing I do when I sit down to work, I take out my list and prioritize. One thing at a time. One step at a time. 

2. Plan, Plan and plan. I am very organized and plan my days to the second. Often, much in advance. Of course, being an Army kid has helped me a lot with time management. My biggest pet peeve: when people are late. The only way I can get everything in my day done, is by optimizing every minute of my day. 

3. Delegate: We knew we needed help. But we also knew that help would come at a cost. However, we were burning ourselves out, and realized that we can't continue operating like this. Ergo, we decided to outsource as much work as we could. 

Food: We don't cook often. We found a lady who delivers home cooked meals to our doorstep every couple days, and that's been our savior. 

Housekeeping: No matter what we did, our house was always a constant mess. So we found help who comes and cleans our house once a week. Of course, we clean dishes and sweep the floor everyday. Won't let that pile up for a week ;) But, we do let our laundry pile up and let him take care of it. 

Nanny: This was a big debate in our house. We avoided getting an evening nanny for the longest time, especially considering the expense. However, we both caved and got help. Guess what, it's a big blessing. Now, I can go for my classes, and Ashish can go biking in the evenings, guilt free. She helps with feeding and bathing kids, helps with Ansh's homework, and also keeps them engaged in activities. So, by the time we come home, kids are ready for hugs, kisses and to be tucked in bed :) 

Conclusion: Woah! I really got carried away with this post. Summing it up here before hitting the bed: My day begins and ends with a hustle, I don't get any "me time", and I rarely get a chance to sit and eat a meal. But I wouldn't change a thing. The hustle is real, but so is the satisfaction I go to sleep at night with. 

On that note, Goodnight people :) 

India Vs America. My subjective opinion

Okie, I’m back, with another interesting topic. 

After my last post that briefly touched upon the challenges that we as first-generation immigrants deal with every day, I was posed with another question: ‘Then why do so many of us still choose to call US home?’ 

Ain’t that an interesting question? I know why I am here (Husband moved here for career opportunities, and I ended up creating a world of my own here. And now, I’m stuck. I have Live2Dance 🥰).

But I wanted to know what is it about living in the US that attracts so many of us to move here despite the million immigration challenges that we are dispensed with every day. So, I started asking around (Instagram/ Facebook/ text messages/ in-person). And here you thought that I was just making small talks ;) 

I suspected that the usual responses that I’d get, would be: Career opportunities, better living conditions, to be with a loved one, or simply because they are seeking to live out the ‘American Dream’. But, to my surprise, and a very pleasant one, I got some unique and interesting responses. 

First of all, a big thanks to all those who said their reason to stay back in the US (specifically Seattle) was Live2Dance. I’m there with you 100%. What else would you want, right? But just to humor those 10% people who had their “own reasons”, let’s dive into that as well ;) 

However, before I list down the answers I got, let me be crystal-clear in establishing the fact that no country is perfect. Every country has its own challenges, but it’s our own personal experiences, priorities, circumstances, and preferences that drive our choices. There’s no absolute right or wrong. Just our subjective opinion.

Top few reasons: 

1. Safety

• “I can travel by public transport at ungodly hours without the fear of being assaulted or molested. Yes, there are pockets of ‘crime areas’ but I know I can easily avoid those areas.” 

• “Less people stare when I walk outside wearing a dress.” 

• “I’ve been here for 6 years, and not once has someone tried to grope me in public.” 

My view: 

As someone who grew up in the Army cantonment throughout my life, I’ve lived a very protected life and I was in was never exposed to public transport or ‘civil life’ until college. And when I was, I am afraid to confess that I was scarred for the longest time. I have been groped, touched inappropriately, teased, made wrongful gestures at, been stopped in the middle of the road by much older men, and even been tried to be pulled into a dark/ empty street (This instance still sends shivers down my spine when I think of it. And I think this is the first time I am saying it out loud). 

This was my ordeal every single day until I refused to take public transport and asked my friends to accompany me for my classes. Eventually, I realized that the only way I can survive, is by being strong and fighting these molesters myself. I survived, but every day was a battle. 

Unfortunately, this is the sad truth of every girl in India. Some will tell you and some may not, but everyone has gone through this (still goes through) in their lives, irrespective of their age. 

The even unfortunate part is that only when I moved out of India, I realized that it was not “normal”. That I didn’t need to have my guards on and ready to attack at all the times. 

These experiences, consciously or sub-consciously, leave deep impacts on your growth. They are traumatic and painful, and I would never want my daughter, or any other girl to ever go through them. 

2. Quality of work: 

• “As someone who has seen both sides of offshore vs onshore, we know what trash work gets sent to offshore teams. Here we get to work on stuff that creates impact in real-time and that translates into job satisfaction over time.” 

• “The respect that I get for my profession here is unmatched.” 

• “My career trajectory has flourished here.” 

•  "Politics and gender discrimination was more apparent and direct in my previous experience as compared to here. But then again that can be a factor of just the people that you are surrounded by which can be good or bad in either place."

My view: 

Personally, I loved the work I was exposed to in India, Canada and US. I’ve worked on some very impactful projects in all 3 countries and have never faced any discrimination. But again, I hear that it varies from field to field and company to company. Before I started my dance studio, I was in the commercial real estate/ infrastructure field with my most favorite work experience having been in Canada. 

3. More $$$: 

• “The joy of being able to do so much for our families and personally for me, also for the charities that I support in India, it’s only been possible because of the power of the dollar. And that’s the security that every human desires.”

My View

Until today, I hadn't put much thought into it. But now, when I consciously think about it, financial security and independence has a big impact on our decision. 

 4. To escape the society:

• “To escape my nosy relatives whose only purpose in life is to see me married. Doesn’t matter how well I do in my career.” 

• “I want to be away from the interference of my relatives. I want to be able to step outside in a sweatshirt and pants, without being judged for not wearing sindoor.” 

5. To escape judgement. 

This person, replied to my story, and in one statement summed up everything with a thud. 

Before I pen down the powerful statement this person made, I’d like to give you my view on the judgement I have been subjected to. 

I’ve been judged as a kid, as a teen, as an adult, as a mother… heck, my 4-month-old kid was subjected to “he’s so dark. Massage him with ghee to clear out his complexion”. 

I have been judged for dancing (and this was not even during my pregnancies ;)), for being dark, for hanging out with boys, for not being “conventional”, and what not. 

And this is all when I kinda fit in the mold of Indian society. I can’t even begin to imagine the kind of judgement you’d be subjected to if you were slightly different and didn’t fit in that mold. 

And it is this breaking of the mold of societal judgement that the statement that I received addresses: “I am respected for who I am, irrespective of my sexual orientation”. 

Woah! ‘nuf said!  

 

Surviving or Thriving? from the lens of first generation immigrant

Today, I just wanted to pen down my feelings on a topic that’s not very pleasant, often stressful/ painful, yet it’s the story of nearly every immigrant’s life. 

Every party, every coffee date, every conversation between two immigrants usually ends with, “My visa is up for renewal next year", "Not sure if I’m gonna stay here much longer”, or “I’m not sure if I wanna buy a house here, considering my visa didn’t get picked in the lottery last two times, and I am only left with 1 more try”, or “Sorry, I can’t be a part of this travel plan. I am not allowed to leave the country right now”.

 

I’ve had people come up to me in class informing me that they will not be able to continue their session anymore because their visa didn’t get renewed and are now required to leave the country. 

Can you imagine the stress that all of us first generation immigrants must live with every day? 

All that planning that goes into visiting your family in India. It needs to be timed with visa appointments, the stress of not knowing if you’ll be allowed back in the country, the bag full of documents you need to carry with you, the 2 minutes of palpitations when you see the immigration officer every time you enter US. During your interview, make sure you’re smiling and pleasant, but not too much to push him into asking more questions or raising any suspicion. Can you imagine the unbearable pain of not being able to see your loved ones for two years due to the travel ban during pandemic? This is just the tip of the iceberg. 

I am not here to talk about the challenges that we face everyday (coz that would need an entire page on the web), but to talk about how despite facing the challenges, we are still thriving! 

We are faced with the same challenges that everybody else is – life, family, job, school, kids, friends, pandemic…. And to top it, we are constantly dealing with the stress of immigration. Yet, we have managed to build a life for ourselves by ourselves. With no help from anyone, we are thriving in every field. We didn’t grow up here, so we don’t have any referrals/ connections. We might still be learning/ adapting to the culture or google every time a reference is made which we don’t understand. But we are still succeeding! Language barrier, cultural barrier, raising children in both cultures, prejudices… we’re learning and crushing each challenge like a champ! 

For me, personally, once I decided to quit my corporate career and dance full-time, setting up a dance studio came much later. It was the initial battle of immigration that took nearly 2 years before I could even begin to start my business. This battle never ends. We just learn to live with it.

I guess, my point with this post was just to give a huge shout out to all my immigrant friends in US who are roaring with success in every field despite the challenges they are faced with all day everyday. I don’t think they give themselves enough credit or even understand entirely what they’re doing. They are so brave to be living with this constant fear and stress, yet building a life for themselves. It’s okay if you hit a bump every now and then, just know that you’re doing an amazing job, and that you are courageous! You are so hardworking and never give up. You aren’t just surviving, but you are thriving!