Memory #3: The one that defined my future

This one pretty much defined my year and my future. If ever asked what my biggest win is or what I’m the proudest of, this would make it to top 3.

Most of you already know about my struggle with Visa in this country, primarily because that’s all I have spoken about or fretted over in the last couple years. 

Our horrors began when I decided I wanted to quit the corporate world and dance full time. As much as I enjoyed preparing Financial models, and analyzing financial data all day, I was never meant for a 9-5 desk job. I wanted to dance full-time.

It had taken me 7 years of convincing myself and another 2 years of convincing Ashish that I can do this. I can quit my corporate job and make a living out of dance. It is a big decision, but I had been dancing and creating a dance community around me with a full-time job, a kid and other commitments for over a decade now. I thought to myself that if I didn’t do it now, I’ll never do it. There will never be the right time. The right time is now.  

Convinced that we want to do this, we started working with our immigration lawyer to understand which lawful route we can take to establish a business in US. All immigrants in this country can relate to this when I say, “Immigration in US is an arduous mental and financial affair”. I was recommended to pursue an E2 Visa in order to establish a business in US. If you start reading up on the requirements of E2, you will get an idea of how complex the process is, especially for a middle-class person like me to attain it successfully. For example, the applicant must make a “substantial investment” to qualify. “Substantial Investment” however, is not defined and left up to our interpretation. Generally, the applicant should be prepared to invest everything in the enterprise to have a good E2 Visa case. 

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We liquidated a number of our key investments in Canada and US to meet this criterion. Then you need to demonstrate that your investment is absolutely and irrevocably committed to the business. Meaning, it doesn’t matter if you brought the money to US, you need to either have expended that or demonstrate that if you don’t get this Visa, you’re at the risk of losing sizable share of that investment. Then began our hunt for a commercial leased space for my dance studio. Having worked in commercial real estate my entire career, I knew this wasn’t going to be easy. I can write another blogpost on this process. But I’ll save that for another day. It took me over a year to find a property that came close to meeting my requirements. 

Just when we thought we had won a big battle, we realized what an uphill task the paperwork for this application is. Writing an elaborate Business Plan, doing my market research, preparing extensive financial models with sensitivity analysis, projecting returns and syndication of funds along with a full-time job, a kid, dancing, working on a production and a pregnancy. Our lives revolved around this application for over a year. Our dinner conversations, our weekend plans, our holidays were all dedicated to working on this application. We didn’t have time for vacation, or even think about my pregnancy. We decided to dedicate our time to our kids once we have the visa in our hand. 

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Weeks and months passed by. We were resolving a new issue almost every day. It was like a never-ending series of tasks. It got frustrating and there were moments when we just wanted to give up. But we had invested so much in this process, both financially and emotionally, that we wouldn’t budge. All vacations, movies and dinner dates could wait for after I got this visa. Finally, the day came when I was called for an interview to Toronto. I was over 7months pregnant and this was my only shot. If I didn’t get this visa now, I won’t be able to travel again for the next 3 months and I would lose my leased space along with all the investments we’d made in this space. So really, I didn’t have an option to not get this visa. We didn’t have a Plan B. 

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I went in for my interview at the US consulate in Toronto. I felt decently confident and prepared. I had spent last 3 months preparing for this interview and the last 9 years working towards it. I was ready. This was going to be my day. But to my horror, my visa was denied. The officer gave me a sheet with reasons of denial, but I was too zoned out to even look at it. I felt like my whole world had crashed. I didn’t know what struck me. I got out into the chilly winter day of Toronto, stood in the middle of the road and burst into tears. My first thought was that I had blown through so much of our savings and our kids’ future. I called my parents and Ashish to tell them that I didn’t get the Visa, and after consoling me for a while, we all started thinking of backup options. The most obvious answer was, ‘… move back to Canada’ and let bygones be bygones. Starting your own business in US seemed so distant and a lost dream. Was it even worth all the effort?

I remember when I boarded my flight from Toronto back to Seattle, I texted Ashish, “I am coming home with a broken dream”, and Ashish’s response was, “Dreams that take the longest to realize, are the sweetest”. I came back and consulted with my lawyer again. He stated the apparent. “You can either forget about it and just go back to living your life like this never happened, or you can give it another try, put more investment, risk a bit more, and put more effort into building your case stronger.” Put more of myself into it? I wasn’t sure about that. I had already lost so much and I wasn’t going to ask Ashish to risk more. But what he said to our lawyer will forever be my favorite moment and a wonderful reminder of why I married Ashish. He said, “She has worked very hard to get here. I do not want her to step down without giving it one last try. I am willing to risk everything.” I can’t remember the next moment because my vision got blurry with tears.

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Well then there was more of burning the midnight oil, more hard work, more battles (believe me it got harder than first time). Without getting into details (direct message me if you want to know more), the next few months were stressful and exciting at the same time. Everything I did, I had never done before. I didn’t know I was capable of taking on so much. Of course, watching movies like Super 30, Gully Boy and Mission Mangal helped reinforce the strength in me and assure me that ‘Apna time ayega (My time will come). Yes, I get all my strength from Bollywood movies ;)

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Came June and my angel was born. For a while we forgot about what lay ahead of us. I sometimes feel guilty for not spending as much time with Dia, as I did with Ansh. But I hope she won’t remember that and love me no matter. 

Cut short, I got my visa interview date for 6 weeks after Dia was born. I travelled to Toronto for my interview with my mom and a 6-week-old baby, ready to take on the interview with all my charm and confidence. I can never forget that day. I prepared all night for my interview, I was answering questions in my sleep (or whatever little sleep I was getting with a new born baby), mom and I had breakfast at the hotel in the morning and mom was taking my mock interview. I left for my interview and I was shivering. All that confidence was fading. What if I don’t get it this time? I don’t want to leave all my friends and network that I have worked so hard to create and move back to Canada. Will I try again? Do I have the strength and stamina to try again? If I don’t, what lesson am I teaching my kids? There were a million thoughts going through my head. I reached the consulate, went through the familiar security process. Everyone seemed politer this time, and that brought a smile to my face. I patiently waited for my turn, and this time it didn’t take 3 hours for my turn, but more like 45 minutes. I get called for my interview and it was the same officer from last time. He was pleasantly surprised to see me this time and I immediately felt relaxed. And then, I got to my usual ‘chatty’ self. After that, it was a breeze. The moment he said, “I’m approving your visa. Go fly”, I took a deep sigh of relief, smiled and blurted, “oh man! I love you. (duh!)”. 

I couldn’t wait to get back to my hotel and break the news to my mom, who I bet was praying for me. Sure enough, I get to the room and she has her eyes closed, chanting prayers. I told her that I got the visa, and tears rolled down her cheeks faster than light. We called up my dad and he started crying. We called up Ashish and he started crying. I think the only person who stayed calm throughout was my Dia. 

We all took a big sigh of relief because, collectively, we had worked through to achieve something that seemed like a far-fetched dream. That’s when I learnt two very important lessons of my life: 1. never give up. If you truly want to make your dreams a success, work hard for it until you can’t work any harder, and then some more; and 2. marry the right person ;)