Dedicated to all the Dads in the world

I saw this classic “Evelyn” yesterday. It was a heart whelming movie where these 3 kids (who have been abandoned by their mother) are forcibly sent to asylum since their father is domestically and financially incapable of raising them. And the story revolves around, how the father rebuilds his financial position and fights against law to regain possession of his kids.

I missed my dad throughout the movie. It’s been so long that I haven’t seen him. This December, he, along with mama and my sis, were supposed to visit me. I had everything planned. Courtesy my dads’ occupation (Army), we have been taught to plan everything in advance and in timely manner. So, I was prepared with a list of activities we were supposed to do together. Each activity had a time allotted to it and it was categorized geographically (And u are wondering what makes me a typical Army kid?). While I was gearing up and buying presents for everybody, my dad called up to say that he won’t be able to make it. He was taking over the post of BGS (Brig General of Staff College) on 20th and couldn’t be so irresponsible to take an off on 23rd.

So then, only my mom and sister came. That was fun too. All 3 ladies went crazy shopping (by 3 ladies I mean my sister, we were merely her helpers), no time limit, no hurrying up, no shouting “You girls are very slow when it comes to shopping. I’ll stay in the car while you guys do your business”. We went to Essel world, and those late night dinners, long walks (from one end of the market to the other). My dad wouldn’t have had the patience to go through all this. He would have just said, “I wish I had a son to give me company”. But I missed him a lot.

He is a sweetheart. We have a lot of fun together… hunting for chocolates (that mom has hidden), blaming it on others when mom finds empty boxes when guests have come over, “I don’t even know what a chocolate tastes like”… practicing Salsa so that we can dance and show off in front of others at army parties, visiting ocean park and competing who slides down fastest, cheating while playing cards, singing away to glory during our long drives, evening walks, badminton, and it’s the best when we all gang against him and tickle him. One should hear him laugh like a small kid. And also when he calls me up to complain against mom, “Your mom doesn’t let me watch match. I should buy another TV now.” As a kid (2 year old), I was irritating him when he had slapped me, I love demanding for things as a compensation for that, and he wouldn’t refuse. One should see his youth pictures; he would just dress up to get a picture clicked in all the possible hair styles and poses and from different angles. With those bell bottoms, big glasses, curly hair, lean physique, and a cigarette in his hand, he surely must have been a heart throb (He still is). It doesn’t end there, he would insist on clicking pictures of Dadima posing like Hema Malini and Sharmila Tegore.

My dad gives a complex to most of my friends. He is very well built (thanks to his regular gym and games), jet black hair (I am sure he doesn’t color them), his fair complexion (thanks to his mom), and those looks (thanks to his dad). Had he not been in the army, he would have been giving competition to Mr Khan (Guess which of the Khans…).

If you ever see a person standing in a crowd, talking about how proud he is about his daughters and how his daughters are perfect, (even if they are complete strangers) so loud that people within a radius of 1000mts can hear him, that will be my dad. (Thanks to his high pitch, we always knew when he is gonna come home from games so that we can switch off the TV and pretend to study).

Dance pe Chance

Today my next session of Shiamak begins. Tuesdays and Thursday are the 2 days I enjoy the most. Not only because we get our reimbursements on that day but also because I get to do what I am most passionate about- Dance.

I have been dancing since I was just 3 years old. I started off dancing to the tune of my mother, and by 10 when I got beyond her control…my father took over and gave me the tune to dance to. Around 15, I was dancing to the tune of my teachers at school… and so on. And now I dance to the tune of Shiamak Davar. I am glad, I have been able to preserve a few things that I have cherished as a kid (including my old torn blue jeans), one being: my passion for dance.

I don’t want to sound too self obsessed, and I swear I didn’t make this up. Once a girl actually came upto me and said “Ma’am you are the goddess of dance”. I wanted to go back in the past and record her sentence, make a small tape or something out of it, which I can hang around my neck all the time. And also put up the pictures of all the prizes I have bagged with the comments of each and every jury member. (And yet I don’t have an ego ;-)

The problem with me is that I always want to be in the front row, seen by the audience and applauded. In all my group performances, I have always been placed in the stage center (Mind you- I am not the one who decides positions). And yet, every time I begin a new session with new instructors and new faces around, I fear if I’ll get center position this time? Its like a nightmare “Will the instructor be able to spot me amongst all those pretty faces?” Two days before starting a new session, I start to get Goosebumps. I also dreamt once that I was performing in filmfare, with Shahid Kapoor, but was placed in the 4^th row. I started to sweat and immediately woke up. It was the worst nightmare ever. (For those who do not dance, will never know how does it feel like not to be noticed while dancing, especially after your dad has told everybody that “My daughter is better than all the Dancing Divas”).

I am in the same turmoil right now. My 1^st class of new session, new instructor, new students, will the instructor be able to recognize my talent and give me the position I own? Well, one thing that is commendable about Shaimak is, they don’t place you according to your looks. (else I would be somewhere behind the side screens)

Lets see what happens: fingers crossed

Gifts: the real reason

Everybody loves gifts (even better: to be on the receiving end). As a kid, the only reason why I would await my birthday was: gifts (apart from the cake). Nothing has changed in all these years. I still celebrate my b’day for the same cause. Only difference being, expenses of a party/treat has to be borne by one self.

Everytime, a relative would come over they would come with lots of goodies for everybody. Worse is, when they call you a month before to check what you want. I do have a list of gift articles I want, but I also want to show some modesty by not demanding anything. I can send a list across to my sister or my parents but what do I do when friends ask?

My friend called me up a month before my b’day to ask what I want as a b’day present.

My parents have always taught me to refuse at least three times before accepting anything. So, I quickly said: “Nothing for me please. Nothing for me please. Nothing for me please,” and waited for him to respond.

He spoke next: “No Deepali, I want to gift you something. Thought I should check with you and buy you something you need.”

I had only three seconds to respond. The character of a person is decided in these three seconds. I had a few options - refusing his gift and telling him that I would be excited if he just came for a movie with me and be my guest, was the best option. The worst option was to list out the things I wanted from him.

With the fear that he might give in any moment and say, “OK then, no gift for you this time”, I replied: “I really think you should not take all the trouble.”

“It is no trouble at all. In an hour’s time I am going out for shopping and I could get you whatever you want.” He said.

My mind went racing. I had bought gifts for so many people. Before I walk into a store, I have always asked myself a few questions –

• Do I really need to gift this guy?
• Will this guy ever gift me back?
• Is there a possibility that I am overdoing it - will he/she be happy with a Rs 200/- gift?

My mind came back to the present. I had to quickly come up with a gift item…else I might be gifted with a deo, an audio CD of old classics or even worse some junk jewellery. The problem with suggesting a gift was …I didn’t know his budget.

Pausing for a while, I said: “I am fine with anything as long as it is an Armani dress, blue in color and I would prefer it to be knee length.”

I finally said what was on my mind, “Oops! I almost forgot. Get me a small size”

My b’day finally came and I got my dress. The real problem will come, when his b’day arrives.

What if....?

Its Monday! A day after Sunday. On this day, I eagerly start counting days for next Sunday. Even though Sundays are lazy and meant for rearranging your wardrobe, I wait for them since I cant tolerate “Clear up the mess in your room” of the warden. (mom in some cases)

Believe me, survival can be difficult if your mom believes in keeping wardrobes clean and organized. And once it is organized, it gets difficult to hunt for your favorite outfit which was always hung behind the door, or lying on the bed. Every time I have to go out, I would spend hours trying different clothes and end up wearing the same pair of jeans and a t-shirt hung behind the wash room door, which I wore yesterday. In moments like this, a person starts hating clothes, and dreams about a world without them. Can you imagine a world without shirts, jeans or sarees? I did…

If only Adam & Eve hadn’t touched the apple, we all would today be roaming about naked – without clothes. But the two did a huge favor for the textile industry, which would not have existed but for the demand for clothes. Without the textile industry, where would all the fashion designers go? What about all those dumb models who showcase the latest in clothes? What will the models do? (It wouldn’t affect the Khans though)

No Fashion TV, no print or TV advertisements for brands like Allen Solly, Van Heusen, Lee, etc. No low rise jeans, no back less tops, no halter, i.e. no fashion at all.

This lack of clothes… will be a blessing in disguise for the men. You, naughty! I meant the shopping…imagine the number of hours your girlfriends/wives will cut off from their shopping time if clothes were not on the list? There would be no trial rooms in shops, unless you want to try out the new nail paint you are buying.

Needless to say, there will be no formal and informal dressing. Thus, no business suit, no Friday dressing, no worries about daily college wear, no spending of hours in front of the mirror admiring yourself, …and of course no marriage gowns. How would we identify the bride in the crowd? OK…it is enough if the bridegroom knows.

Now people will be more cautious about staying fit. Those who do not believe in skin display, merely coz they want to cover the extra flab with every bit of clothing, will now become more aware and you will find them going for regular jogs and work outs.

But if there are no trousers, there will be no pockets to keep wallets, mobiles and kerchiefs. Where will the police keep its revolvers? They will have to strap them on or hang them from somewhere.

A world without fashion means, a world without fashion. No showcasing of our fancy clothes. How would one differentiate between a celebrity and a common man? A politician and a terrorist? (They both look the same). It’s a scary thought. What will we do in winters?

$#&& :-))))) &&#$

What makes a perfect day beginning? Is it chocolate, ice cream, vacations, hugs from children, a perfect night's sleep, good breakfast, or the satisfaction of a job well done? A thousand people, a thousand different answers. But one supreme pleasure that spans all people is laughter. Many will agree that a good healthy body, regular work outs and nutritious food cannot do as much good to your body as heartiest laughter. Little can compare to the feeling of a deep, complete, heartfelt laughing spell. No matter your age, wealth, race, or living situation, life is good when laughter is frequent.

After years of practice and experience, I now, am in a position to say that I might not have the best sense of humor but I am satisfied with the fact that I do make many people laugh.

To lighten up your day, try these: When you wake up in the morning, make sure to have a smile on your face “Fake it till you make it”. Listen to music that you love, treat yourself with comedy festival, Rent movies like Meet the Parents; Young Frankenstein; Pee-Wee's Big Adventure; Monty Python and the Holy Grail; This Is Spinal Tap; Animal House; Finding Nemo. Have a ha-ha bulletin board where you only post funny sayings or signs. If that doesn’t work, here’s a tip that cannot go in vain (Its tried and experimented a million times): Spend 15 minutes a day having a giggling session. Here's how you do it: You and another person (partner, kid, friend, etc.) lay on the floor with your head on her stomach, and her head on another person's stomach and so on (the more people the better). The first person says, "Ha." The next person says, "Ha-ha." The third person says, "Ha-ha-ha." And so on. It’s guaranteed that you'll be laughing in no time. Read up funny articles, take out time from work and read those funny forwards that have been taking up the entire place in your mail box. Try your jokes on your friends before trying it on your seniors. But don't laugh at everything, especially the things that aren't funny. And if you are a victim of “He who laughs last didn't get the joke", then pretend that you weren’t paying attention, clutch your stomach, close your eyes and throw your head back.

BTW an important aspect of humor is IQ. The extent, to which an individual will find something humorous, depends on his IQ. Like, when we were kids, cartoons (Tom & Jerry) were funny; when we grew up, I dream of Jinnie was funny; a little more matured, Dekh Bhai Dekh was hilarious, then came Full House, later FRIENDS was funny and so on….

So, you need to be well aware, who your target audience is. That also reminds me that telling a racist joke to someone of another race will most likely turn into you getting a black eye or suspended from school, fired from work, etc. (Except for Russell Peter. Man! That guy can pull off any kind of joke).

Most importantly, have a bunch of friends who make you laugh. Any time of day, if you are feeling low, you must be able to reach out to those friends and lighten up your day. Keep away from whining and cribbing friends and make your funny friends circle bigger. I am one of the very few lucky ones, who has always been surrounded by friends that can make me laugh (By laugh I mean laugh out so loud that tears roll down my cheeks) at any point of day and I can be rest assured that they will be always beside me.

Courtesy :Huzzu, Dujju, Vincy, Shek, Benny, Sanam, Rohit, Shanu, Binoy, Bodhi and many more