I realized I was a fitness freak when our dad took me and my sister (aged 16 and 14 respectively, back then) to one of the typical Army Gym behind Officers’ Mess. For my non -army background friends (somehow calling them civilians is derogatory), an Officers Mess is not the place simply meant to dine. Here same set of people partied every single night, leaving their kids locked up in the TV room with one sahayak bhaiya to watch them over while they played tambola and ate chicken.
Coming back to the topic, our dad took us to gym for the first time. My sister and I went berserk on seeing the treadmill and such fancy equipments (even though most of them were rusted). Since my running shoes were still wet from last evening when I tried to wash them white for today, I had to wear my black leather school shoes to jog on the treadmill.
After 2 hours well spent on cycling, dumbles, treadmill and walker, we realized that in our excitement we had forgotten lunch. Since Shanu refused to get off the fitness equipment, food was ordered from mess (one place where we could buy food merely by signing the slips, which we later realized were sent to our dad for payment. That’s when we stopped treating our friends). It was only after 4 hours when we agreed to get off the treadmill and anyways in the 4 hours of running we had realized that in a treadmill you only run and run and run and run and go nowhere!
Our intensity didn’t come down next day either, which was a Sunday and we left home early to hit the gym. On Monday we hired Professional Movers & Packers to pack and transport us to our school.
According to my Physical Education teacher (who thought the World is flat… it is another thing that the football field was his World)… it takes more than 12 hours for lactic acid to form in overworked muscles. It happened a little sooner for us. Half way through the day my legs started paining. I couldn’t move a muscle and had to sit in class even while all my friends played basket ball. I tried looking occupied with my studies since exams were approaching. Maybe that’s why the authorities thought what a sincere kid I was and awarded me “The studious student” award. Parag nearly killed me for that since he worked hard to bag that one. It’s only when I explained him the mishap did he understand and let go. Next day onwards I saw him gymming- that is working out in Gym – (it is an equivalent of ‘Googling’) everyday.
Wednesday, April 7, 2010
Friday, April 2, 2010
I love myself!!!
Supriya is getting engaged this week and this is the message she sent me: “What are you wearing for my engagement”
I replied, “I have the prettiest pink saree. I’ll probably wear that”
Supriya: “Wear whatever, but I’ll look the best on that day”.
Me: “Yeah! It’s your day. I’ll let you have it”.
To this she replied “Thank you my highness, I love you for this”. I could sense sarcasm in her text. But that didn't stop me and I replied “Yeah, I love myself too”.
She called me an egotist and refused to pick up the phone when I called to patch up. Either she was upset or got busy looking for an even prettier saree to compete with mine.
The other day, Trishna (my flat mate) caught me blowing kisses to myself and passed a comment “You must really love yourself na?”
Duh! I wonder what took her so long to figure that one out. Chances are, she did not notice all those love bites on my mirror image.
I don’t want to be bragging here, but I think if only I were a little more modest…I would be the perfect human being that ever walked this Earth. I just need to be a little more modest…that is all.
I found out that I was perfect the day I played Mira Bai’s role in a school play. After I got off the stage, the audience and my teacher went loud, crazy and unruly. She even told me if she was a guy and I was an adult, she would marry me. Puhleez! Like I would agree to that. One of my classmates walked up to me and said: “You were amazing. I don’t have words to describe you.”
I said: “Try harder.”
She didn’t yield to my prompt and we spent the next ten minutes discussing my background, my family and my future plans. When I got bored I told her: “Enough of me….let us now talk about you.”
I could see she was happy.
“What do YOU think of me?” I asked her…but she stared right through me and went on her way.
A friend of mine has fallen in love with himself and is looking forward to a life-long romance. As if that was not enough, another friend wants to die in her own arms. Now, what do you call that?
I replied, “I have the prettiest pink saree. I’ll probably wear that”
Supriya: “Wear whatever, but I’ll look the best on that day”.
Me: “Yeah! It’s your day. I’ll let you have it”.
To this she replied “Thank you my highness, I love you for this”. I could sense sarcasm in her text. But that didn't stop me and I replied “Yeah, I love myself too”.
She called me an egotist and refused to pick up the phone when I called to patch up. Either she was upset or got busy looking for an even prettier saree to compete with mine.
The other day, Trishna (my flat mate) caught me blowing kisses to myself and passed a comment “You must really love yourself na?”
Duh! I wonder what took her so long to figure that one out. Chances are, she did not notice all those love bites on my mirror image.
I don’t want to be bragging here, but I think if only I were a little more modest…I would be the perfect human being that ever walked this Earth. I just need to be a little more modest…that is all.
I found out that I was perfect the day I played Mira Bai’s role in a school play. After I got off the stage, the audience and my teacher went loud, crazy and unruly. She even told me if she was a guy and I was an adult, she would marry me. Puhleez! Like I would agree to that. One of my classmates walked up to me and said: “You were amazing. I don’t have words to describe you.”
I said: “Try harder.”
She didn’t yield to my prompt and we spent the next ten minutes discussing my background, my family and my future plans. When I got bored I told her: “Enough of me….let us now talk about you.”
I could see she was happy.
“What do YOU think of me?” I asked her…but she stared right through me and went on her way.
A friend of mine has fallen in love with himself and is looking forward to a life-long romance. As if that was not enough, another friend wants to die in her own arms. Now, what do you call that?
Friday, March 12, 2010
If Men stop lying
What would happen if tomorrow all men in the World stop lying? They will start dying. Simple.
You probably think I said the men would be dying because it rhymed with lying. No…if I wanted a word that rhymed with lying…I would have gone with – crying, spying, eyeing, flying, sighing and vying…and I can assure you all of them would have made sense and yet rhymed with lying.
But believe me…the moment man stops lying…he will have no option left but to leave this world. The logic is simple…can fish live without water? Can bears live without salmons? Can butter flies live without necter? Can men live without lying?
Let’s take an example and judge for yourself:-
Mom: I look different today
Dad: I don’t think so. You look perfect as always
Mom: Do you think I look fat?
Now here, dad is left with two options. Either:
Dad: (after a long pause)… yeah. Maybe u’ve put on some weight. (and then apologize for the next few weeks)
Or
Dad: (Without a pause)… Not at all. You look exactly like on the day we got married (and expect a delicious meal)
Men from different religion, caste, creed, economic strata lie the same. I realized this fact only a few days back when Ashish dozed off while talking to me on the phone and I kept chatting for another 10 minutes while there was no response form his side. Considering the fact that he is a patient listener, I continued talking without any doubts in my mind until I heard him snore at the other end. Yes! He was snoring while talking to me. I remember how my dad would walk away or get pissed even if we yawned while he spoke to us and mind you, Ashish was SNORING. My dad and I share some common traits and short-temper, runs in our blood. So I yelled out his name loud. Loud enough to wake up his room mates. This is how our conversation followed:
Me: How dare you fall asleep while talking to me?
Ashish: I wasn’t sleeping. I was reading an article
Me: Then how-cum I heard you snore?
Ashish: Snore? (In his mind: How could I?) That’s not possible for two reasons: one, I don’t snore; two: I wasn’t sleeping. I was studying. I could show you the article I was reading if only you log on skype.
Me: Are you sure, you aren’t lying?
Ashish: (In his mind: I guess she’s buying it. Lets push it a little more) Of course. I would never lie to you
And that’s how he lied to me AGAIN.
But men are not to be blamed completely for lying. Women have a strong hand leading men to lie. Women will forgive and forget, but wont let men forgive that they have forgiven and forgotten. Just like for the next couple of months, I didn’t let go of the fact that he slept while talking to me and then lied and then lied again to cover the previous lie and again.
You probably think I said the men would be dying because it rhymed with lying. No…if I wanted a word that rhymed with lying…I would have gone with – crying, spying, eyeing, flying, sighing and vying…and I can assure you all of them would have made sense and yet rhymed with lying.
But believe me…the moment man stops lying…he will have no option left but to leave this world. The logic is simple…can fish live without water? Can bears live without salmons? Can butter flies live without necter? Can men live without lying?
Let’s take an example and judge for yourself:-
Mom: I look different today
Dad: I don’t think so. You look perfect as always
Mom: Do you think I look fat?
Now here, dad is left with two options. Either:
Dad: (after a long pause)… yeah. Maybe u’ve put on some weight. (and then apologize for the next few weeks)
Or
Dad: (Without a pause)… Not at all. You look exactly like on the day we got married (and expect a delicious meal)
Men from different religion, caste, creed, economic strata lie the same. I realized this fact only a few days back when Ashish dozed off while talking to me on the phone and I kept chatting for another 10 minutes while there was no response form his side. Considering the fact that he is a patient listener, I continued talking without any doubts in my mind until I heard him snore at the other end. Yes! He was snoring while talking to me. I remember how my dad would walk away or get pissed even if we yawned while he spoke to us and mind you, Ashish was SNORING. My dad and I share some common traits and short-temper, runs in our blood. So I yelled out his name loud. Loud enough to wake up his room mates. This is how our conversation followed:
Me: How dare you fall asleep while talking to me?
Ashish: I wasn’t sleeping. I was reading an article
Me: Then how-cum I heard you snore?
Ashish: Snore? (In his mind: How could I?) That’s not possible for two reasons: one, I don’t snore; two: I wasn’t sleeping. I was studying. I could show you the article I was reading if only you log on skype.
Me: Are you sure, you aren’t lying?
Ashish: (In his mind: I guess she’s buying it. Lets push it a little more) Of course. I would never lie to you
And that’s how he lied to me AGAIN.
But men are not to be blamed completely for lying. Women have a strong hand leading men to lie. Women will forgive and forget, but wont let men forgive that they have forgiven and forgotten. Just like for the next couple of months, I didn’t let go of the fact that he slept while talking to me and then lied and then lied again to cover the previous lie and again.
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