Long Long ago, an inquisitive boy asked his dad, “Dad, is God Black or White?”
“My Dear Child, God is neither Black nor White”, answered his Dad with a smile on his face.
“Dad, is God Male or Female?” The child asked out of curiosity
“Son, God is neither Male nor Female.” Replied his dad.
The next day, this kid goes upto all his friends and says “I know who is God. It’s Michael Jackson.”
That was the day when entire Gamut of people started worshiping King of Pop. He was indeed a King. He changed the definition of Music. There was a time when one could see kids moon walking to their class rooms. 7 out of 10 kids would dress up like MJ for a fancy dress competition, not only because they admired him but because he was the easiest to replicate. Long curly hair shabbily tied with one streak of hair falling on forehead, lotsa powder on face, Dark Red Lipstick, white shirt, black over coat, black trousers upto ankles, White Socks, Black Shoes and a Black hat. That is all you needed.
I have always known MJ and heard his music, but it was only during MBA days that I actually observed him and started admiring him. Thanks to Debu, who was glued to MJ. He would make us sit in front of his Laptop while he played MJ’s videos. And when we tried to protest, he would threaten us in MJ Thriller style… Debu was right… This guy did dance like a melted piece of butter falling off a spoon. But I wasn’t the only one who had been inspired by Micheal Jackson. A Telugu movie director made his own Indian version of ‘Thriller’ and the video on Youtube has got 15,741,543 views. (Code word: Indian Thriller)
Apparently, in the late 80s the comedians the World over had started to target Michael Jackson. He was an easy butt-end for various jokes…what with skin color, skin condition, child molestation controversies, his pet monkey which used to sleep in a crib inside his bedroom, his Peter Pan pretensions, his ranch called Neverland, his military clothes, etc.
The first Michael Jackson joke I heard was:
Question: “How does Michael Jackson pick his nose?”
Answer: From a catalog.
Now since he is dead he is free from all those controversies. I am sure they’ll accept him well in Heaven. (They do accept Plastic right?)
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
Thursday, June 25, 2009
Little Drops From Heaven
After days of sulking in hot sun, continuous praying to the rain god and non-stop cribbing about the constant rising heat, rain birds have finally shot their arrows at the clouds and inaugurated the much awaited monsoons. Hooray!!! It rained yesterday. Mumbaikars finally had a smile on their faces, everybody seemed to be rejoicing. I could see people sitting in their balcony and admiring the little rain drops from heaven. The weather was never so romantic and never so pleasant. This was the time to go out with a loved one for a long drive on a bike or simply take a stroll in the rain while holding hands. The entire evening was so peaceful and soothing. The scene was a feast for the eyes and treat for ears.
While I stood in my veranda and saw children of the colony came out to play football in the rain, I extended my head and opened my mouth to catch a few drops. It was delicious, much more than any exotic ice cream. The ‘first rain scent’ or as we call it ‘mitti ki khushbu’ is much more enjoyable and pleasurable than any exclusive Aroma.
To some, rains bring joy by its aesthetic appeal but to some it has negative effect. Rain metaphorically has a sad connotation- reflected in children’s rhymes like “Rain Rain Go Away”- in contrast to the bright and happy sun. While some people play and dance in the rain, some prefer to shut their doors and windows and stay inside their houses.
Ever wondered what would happen if there were no rains? Except for the ecological imbalance, what would be the other consequences? Rain coats and gum boots would seem pointless, there would be no fun in jumping into a puddle and slashing nothing at people, we would never experience the joy of having garam pakodas and sipping hot tea at a roadside tapri with friends. We would never get to see a rainbow (not that we get to see that in Mumbai anyways). Romance in hindi movies would be in hot sun under a tree; songs like “tip tip barsa pani”, “rimjhim rimjhim”, and “dekho barish ho rahi hai” wouldn’t make sense. Mumbai would never get flooded and we will have to work without expecting an off. There’ll be no more paper boats floating on stagnant water and no more wet football grounds.
I personally love rain, as long as I don’t dirty my clothes on my way to work.
While I stood in my veranda and saw children of the colony came out to play football in the rain, I extended my head and opened my mouth to catch a few drops. It was delicious, much more than any exotic ice cream. The ‘first rain scent’ or as we call it ‘mitti ki khushbu’ is much more enjoyable and pleasurable than any exclusive Aroma.
To some, rains bring joy by its aesthetic appeal but to some it has negative effect. Rain metaphorically has a sad connotation- reflected in children’s rhymes like “Rain Rain Go Away”- in contrast to the bright and happy sun. While some people play and dance in the rain, some prefer to shut their doors and windows and stay inside their houses.
Ever wondered what would happen if there were no rains? Except for the ecological imbalance, what would be the other consequences? Rain coats and gum boots would seem pointless, there would be no fun in jumping into a puddle and slashing nothing at people, we would never experience the joy of having garam pakodas and sipping hot tea at a roadside tapri with friends. We would never get to see a rainbow (not that we get to see that in Mumbai anyways). Romance in hindi movies would be in hot sun under a tree; songs like “tip tip barsa pani”, “rimjhim rimjhim”, and “dekho barish ho rahi hai” wouldn’t make sense. Mumbai would never get flooded and we will have to work without expecting an off. There’ll be no more paper boats floating on stagnant water and no more wet football grounds.
I personally love rain, as long as I don’t dirty my clothes on my way to work.
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
World gets blurry without them
My Grandmother is over eighty and still doesn’t need glasses. Drinks right out of the bottle.
- Henny Youngman (1906 - 1998)
I have been wearing glasses (not the whiskey ones) since I was in class IX. As proof I even have a mark on the bridge of my nose. My glasses have now become an indispensable part of my life. My mother, when she wakes up in the morning, first thing, she folds her hands and prays to god. My morning begins with a hunt for my glasses; else I won’t be able to see God.
As a kid, I have always wished for glasses. I was awestruck with those big sunglasses Karishma Kapoor and Divya Bharati would wear, making it a style statement. When I put my desire of buying similar sunglasses, my mom bluntly refused saying that I was too young for Fashion. (I wonder what the right age is for Fashion). That is when it struck me that spectacles are no different from sunglasses.
Anyways, so after years of rigorous practice, watching TV in the dark, studying with my book almost touching my nose, etc. Finally in IXth standard, during our medical check up, I was unable to read the alphabets on doctors’ screen. Even though I had mugged up the order of alphabets, being the honest person that I am, I was true to myself and the doctor and finally was declared half blind.
My parents were then called to school by my class teacher.
“Please, get her glasses… I don’t think she can see what I write on the black board” she told my mother.
I interfered, “Madam, will I be able to read after I start wearing glasses?”
“Sure Deepali. Why not?” My teacher was very encouraging.
“Because my mother thinks one needs to learn ABCD… before one can start reading.”
Anyway, like I was saying… the first time I landed at an Optician for my pair of glasses, my father looked at a few spectacles, placed a fewer still on my nose and looked at me from far and near… and then handed me a pair that were NOT so cool. They were big, round, Grandpa Type spectacles which would cover my entire face. Sure I wanted those BIG sunglasses, but the time gap from when I prayed for them and now was tremendous and they were out of fashion. I told this to my dad, but according to him “Fashion moves in a cycle, and after a couple of years, these spectacles will be in style again”. So I was supposed to wait for that time with this bulky asset on my nose.
If you are somebody who has spent a good amount of time with bad eyes but no spectacles, you will agree that the world becomes a lot more colorful and clearer with glasses on the bridge of your nose. I could see everything now. So much so, I could see right through peoples’ character. During our exam, I could see Mahesh, my desk-mate, copying word-to-word of what I wrote. Earlier I always thought he was just being nice and trying to see, if I had copied the question correctly from black board.
Spectacles help build a person’s character. I learnt this fact when I had to go on stage and give a speech in school. I decided to go on without my spectacles, so I couldn’t see people making faces and boo hooting me. That’s when everybody thought that I was a very confident person and it boosted up my morale.
It’s been 10 years now (a few years of contact lenses in between) that my eyes have been through good and bad times. And after so many years of different frames, I have again shifted back to my first type, “Grandpa Type”. But a lot more classier.
- Henny Youngman (1906 - 1998)
I have been wearing glasses (not the whiskey ones) since I was in class IX. As proof I even have a mark on the bridge of my nose. My glasses have now become an indispensable part of my life. My mother, when she wakes up in the morning, first thing, she folds her hands and prays to god. My morning begins with a hunt for my glasses; else I won’t be able to see God.
As a kid, I have always wished for glasses. I was awestruck with those big sunglasses Karishma Kapoor and Divya Bharati would wear, making it a style statement. When I put my desire of buying similar sunglasses, my mom bluntly refused saying that I was too young for Fashion. (I wonder what the right age is for Fashion). That is when it struck me that spectacles are no different from sunglasses.
Anyways, so after years of rigorous practice, watching TV in the dark, studying with my book almost touching my nose, etc. Finally in IXth standard, during our medical check up, I was unable to read the alphabets on doctors’ screen. Even though I had mugged up the order of alphabets, being the honest person that I am, I was true to myself and the doctor and finally was declared half blind.
My parents were then called to school by my class teacher.
“Please, get her glasses… I don’t think she can see what I write on the black board” she told my mother.
I interfered, “Madam, will I be able to read after I start wearing glasses?”
“Sure Deepali. Why not?” My teacher was very encouraging.
“Because my mother thinks one needs to learn ABCD… before one can start reading.”
Anyway, like I was saying… the first time I landed at an Optician for my pair of glasses, my father looked at a few spectacles, placed a fewer still on my nose and looked at me from far and near… and then handed me a pair that were NOT so cool. They were big, round, Grandpa Type spectacles which would cover my entire face. Sure I wanted those BIG sunglasses, but the time gap from when I prayed for them and now was tremendous and they were out of fashion. I told this to my dad, but according to him “Fashion moves in a cycle, and after a couple of years, these spectacles will be in style again”. So I was supposed to wait for that time with this bulky asset on my nose.
If you are somebody who has spent a good amount of time with bad eyes but no spectacles, you will agree that the world becomes a lot more colorful and clearer with glasses on the bridge of your nose. I could see everything now. So much so, I could see right through peoples’ character. During our exam, I could see Mahesh, my desk-mate, copying word-to-word of what I wrote. Earlier I always thought he was just being nice and trying to see, if I had copied the question correctly from black board.
Spectacles help build a person’s character. I learnt this fact when I had to go on stage and give a speech in school. I decided to go on without my spectacles, so I couldn’t see people making faces and boo hooting me. That’s when everybody thought that I was a very confident person and it boosted up my morale.
It’s been 10 years now (a few years of contact lenses in between) that my eyes have been through good and bad times. And after so many years of different frames, I have again shifted back to my first type, “Grandpa Type”. But a lot more classier.
Tuesday, June 9, 2009
Betty is the one
I have known him for long… Even before Monica, Rachael, Joey, Phoebe, Chandler and Ross became a part of my life and yet prior to I started relating to the characters of “Hip Hip Hooray”, a show aired on Zee TV about school life. I became so addicted to it, that there was one point of time I could hallucinate the characters around me. I wished that somehow, my actual friends get replaced by these characters (even though I don’t remember their names now). And even before I had a crush on Salman Khan… I have known and loved Archie Andrews. So much so, that I had a copy of Archie in Bathroom, a copy under my pillow, in my books, in my drawer, in my bag, in TV room…
Archie was the coolest guy ever. Only he is the one who can date one girl each night without annoying the previous ones. Only he is the one who can play pranks on his school principal and get detained every week, yet be his favorite. Only he is the one who can hang out late with his pals and not bother about his home work, since Betty is there to take care of it. Only he is the one who does not have to bother about money matters, Ronnie is always there to help. He has the best friend Jughead, who would even fall from a cliff for him (at yet not be hurt). He is the hero of Riverdale.
For those who have no clue, what I am talking about, Archie Comics is all about school friends, how they live, eat, stay, behave, fight, love, hate and relate to each other…all done in a tasteful manner!
Here is a quick introduction of the main characters:
• Archibald “Archie” Andrews, main character, a typical red- headed teenage boy with a great interest in dating. He tends to be clumsy and accident prone.
• Elizabeth “Betty” Cooper, the blonde girl next door, who is a good student, athlete, cook, and auto mechanic. She is very obsessive over her major crush, 'Archie Andrews'.
• Veronica “Ronnie/Ron” Lodge, the rich, sometimes nice and sometimes snobbish girl. Betty's best friend and rival for Archie's affections.
• Forsythe Pendleton “Jughead” Jones III, Archie's best friend, Jughead is sarcastic, obsessed with eating, lazy, and apathetic towards girls; however he is also portrayed to be very clever and knowledgeable on a wide variety of subjects, being second only to Dilton Doiley.
• Reginald “Reggie” Mantle III, the vain and conceited practical joker who thinks he can date anyone he wants.
I grew up my teens with these characters… They were like my own friends. I ate, cried and laughed with them… I have loved them all. I have admired Betty and Veronica. How can they manage to look beautiful even while they are asleep?
But somehow, I have always been a bit partial to Betty than Veronica. And now after 65 years, since Archie has chosen Veronica over Betty, my heart goes out for poor Betty. She has always been around Archie, religiously done his home work, cooked food for him when he was kicked out, helped him wash his dads’ car… she has been like that Vodafone pug (followed him wherever he went), yet the current recession took a toll on Archie and he chose money over true love.
I cant wait for August issue to read what happens next. But I do pray that Archie, towards the end, realizes that Betty is the one for him…
Monday, June 1, 2009
What an Encounter!!!
I have always wanted to meet God. I belong to the generation that grew up watching Arun Govil and Deepika together on Television – as Lord Rama and Sita in Ramanand Sagar’s Ramayan - and thus started to associate them with God. If you are as old as I am, you probably remember that Arun Govil and Deepika were hounded with agarbathis and aartis wherever they went….but I didn’t go that far. The 10 year old that I was, I just gave them the God status.
As a kid, I had asked for a big pink colored Barbie house from God, but he didn’t oblige and instead settled me down for a small Barbie caravan. So when he didn’t listen to me, I started considering Nitish Bharadwaj (the guy who played Krishna in TV Serial, Mahabharata) as real God.
When Lord Krishna also spurned my advances and didn’t deliver when it mattered most- national painting award- I realized Nitish wasn’t God either.
With time, I stopped looking for God, when I realized I was God myself. But that too faded away, when I started working. I met a few people who thought they were God… but none good enough to be placed on a pedestal. Some of these people were way up the corporate ladder and could make a difference in my career… so I stayed in touch with them. As for the rest, who cares for the sages when you have the Gods in your pocket?
To cut the long story short, my search for God ended last evening. I met him. Yes, it was a him. A very handsome one. Tall, Fair and Handsome.
I was on the way back from my office when I saw this man in white, in the middle of the road. I stopped by him and shouted “Don’t tell me you want to die so young?”
“I have no death young girl”, his voice seemed to have an echo that I hadn’t heard anywhere before.
I looked around… there was nobody on the road. I looked at the man, and he was looking attractive. I wasn’t surprised. If I were God and was creating myself, why wouldn’t I make myself another Aishwaraya Rai?
I somehow summoned up enough courage and asked him “Who are you…. Why are you standing in the middle of the road?”
“I am who I am. You have to figure out if I am a messenger of God… or I am God himself?” He said without blinking.
The street lamp was forming a halo around his head.
“So where are you going?” I insisted.
“I am in search of my best devotee”. His eyes were glazed, and I had a feeling he wasn’t actually looking at me.
“Does this person stay at any place. Any place nearby?”
“Anybody can be this person. Just have to show devotion, which I can appreciate”. He said.
Suddenly, everything fell into place. This is exactly the kind of dialogues Arun Govil and Nitish Bharadwaj would reel out in the two epics on Television. This man was actually God who had come to the World looking for an ardent devotee.
Without wasting any time I told him about my problems in life and sought his blessings.
Having finally seen God, I thought it my responsibility to take him to his home- the nearby Sai Baba temple. I then went home a satisfied gal… for I had finally seen God.
Next morning, there was a lot of chaos outside the building. People from mental asylum were looking for a young and handsome patient, who escaped last evening and pretends to be God.
As a kid, I had asked for a big pink colored Barbie house from God, but he didn’t oblige and instead settled me down for a small Barbie caravan. So when he didn’t listen to me, I started considering Nitish Bharadwaj (the guy who played Krishna in TV Serial, Mahabharata) as real God.
When Lord Krishna also spurned my advances and didn’t deliver when it mattered most- national painting award- I realized Nitish wasn’t God either.
With time, I stopped looking for God, when I realized I was God myself. But that too faded away, when I started working. I met a few people who thought they were God… but none good enough to be placed on a pedestal. Some of these people were way up the corporate ladder and could make a difference in my career… so I stayed in touch with them. As for the rest, who cares for the sages when you have the Gods in your pocket?
To cut the long story short, my search for God ended last evening. I met him. Yes, it was a him. A very handsome one. Tall, Fair and Handsome.
I was on the way back from my office when I saw this man in white, in the middle of the road. I stopped by him and shouted “Don’t tell me you want to die so young?”
“I have no death young girl”, his voice seemed to have an echo that I hadn’t heard anywhere before.
I looked around… there was nobody on the road. I looked at the man, and he was looking attractive. I wasn’t surprised. If I were God and was creating myself, why wouldn’t I make myself another Aishwaraya Rai?
I somehow summoned up enough courage and asked him “Who are you…. Why are you standing in the middle of the road?”
“I am who I am. You have to figure out if I am a messenger of God… or I am God himself?” He said without blinking.
The street lamp was forming a halo around his head.
“So where are you going?” I insisted.
“I am in search of my best devotee”. His eyes were glazed, and I had a feeling he wasn’t actually looking at me.
“Does this person stay at any place. Any place nearby?”
“Anybody can be this person. Just have to show devotion, which I can appreciate”. He said.
Suddenly, everything fell into place. This is exactly the kind of dialogues Arun Govil and Nitish Bharadwaj would reel out in the two epics on Television. This man was actually God who had come to the World looking for an ardent devotee.
Without wasting any time I told him about my problems in life and sought his blessings.
Having finally seen God, I thought it my responsibility to take him to his home- the nearby Sai Baba temple. I then went home a satisfied gal… for I had finally seen God.
Next morning, there was a lot of chaos outside the building. People from mental asylum were looking for a young and handsome patient, who escaped last evening and pretends to be God.
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