Karma never sleeps

I just got off the phone with a very dear friend talking about my favorite subject, and I think it’s time to make it official by writing a post about it. Because, let’s admit it, it’s not your favorite subject, unless it’s on your blog J

“Keep calm and let Karma do its thing” – is my philosophy in life. Forgiveness takes much more effort than anger, but it’s not your place to get aggressive and punish. Universe will do it for you.

If you know me, you probably also know that I literally live my life by Karma. Every action I take, every decision, every word I speak (well, sometimes I don’t think before speaking- so it doesn’t always count), the way I view this world, and every little choice I make is always guided by one principle -  how am I going to increase the “good karma” repository in my account. Because, honestly, I have had my share of bad decisions as well, and I’ve been burnt by karma multiple times too. I’m not perfect (though, I’m pretty close ;)). I’ve been at the recipient end of karma, sometimes instant karma, many times to realise that it’s not just a phenomena. It’s as real as Ryan Gosling being the sexiest man alive or Justin Trudeau can never do anything wrong!

Whether or not you believe in karma as a spiritual or humanistic idea, it’s worth considering how you behave as you go about your life, and whether or not that behavior might be bringing good or bad energy your way. Certainly, if nothing else, the concept of karma tends to make us all a bit more aware of our choices. At this point, I’d like to make it clear again, that I’m not flawless myself. I’ve made some irrational and erroneous decisions, mostly subconsciously. But I’ve faced the brunt of karma for it, and I’m very proud of myself how I’ve taken every instance as a learning and it’s made me a much stronger and self-aware person. And I’d like to pat my back because I’ve always owned up to my actions and don’t carry malice in heart for anyone (except maybe a couple people ;))

I guess what I’m saying is that people WILL let you down in this life; promises WILL be broken; universe WILL NOT always work according to your plans; you WILL err; and your trust in life WILL be shaken. But be rest assured that he who carries malice in heart will unknowingly create a shadow that follows him like the wind. You just have to keep doing good things, and good things will come your way.

I’ve made a list of things I consciously do on a daily basis to populate my good karma repository. If you have anything to add to these, please let me know. I’d be interested J

1.     Compliment people more! Be it the cashier at grocery store, or your hairstylist, or even someone walking past by you; one compliment from you might make their day brighter and you never know, you might create a domino effect. Complimenting is like yawning – it’s contagious!

2.     Laugh at a joke that gets greeted with awkward silence. It won’t hurt you, but might make all the difference to the person making it.

3.     Invite someone new to your group/ circle. What do you want to bet that they are fantastic?

4.     Don’t lie. Really! Just don’t go there…. I hafta admit, that I’m guilty of this myself. But try consciously, not to go there.

5.     Listen! As difficult as it can be to NOT talk about yourself and just listen, do it.

6.     Take time to talk to older generation. They know a lot of cool stuff that you probably don’t, and it’ll make them feel nice.

7.     Love! Love life, love family, love friends, love yourself. Love makes the world go around.

8.     Smile and give away hugs! Even if you are having a bad day, someone else could be having an even worse day and a simple smile or a hug could end up being the high point of their day.

9.     Be giving! Even if you think you have very little in life, view it from someone else’s lens and you’ll see you have so much to give. Give, give and you’ll receive a lot in return. Whether it’s your time, money, clothes, effort; just giving to those less fortunate than us is very satisfying.

10.   Friends come and go, but you are stuck with your family for life. Maybe you should treat them as good as you treat your buds.

11.   Do the right thing, even when no one is looking. Karma is always watching you!

12.   Relax and acknowledge why your life is beautiful!

13.   And the number one thing about building karma is to stop worrying about karma. Just be a nice person and let it roll

Wow! That was some heavy stuff. So take a moment out of your day. Find a cat picture and smile. You owe it to yourself, your family, your coworkers and the universe to put one more smile on your face for today.

Job Hunting is no Joke

Today, let’s talk about the life I’ve been living for a few months – life of a Job seeker. But before I start my venting, and leashing out, I want to add a disclaimer. Because, let’s face it, I don’t want to offend any recruiters at this point in my life ;)

So if you are a recruiter and reading this, please note that this isn’t aimed at you. This is aimed at those other recruiters, who decided to ignore me instead ;)

Being out of work is no laughing matter! The job-seeking road is often a very long and bumpy one. It can take a huge toll on a person’s attitude, which is a big problem when maintaining a positive attitude is so critical to a job seeker’s chances of success. It’s a catch 22! So if you are a recruiter and you see a grumpy candidate, you are partially to be blamed for it.

Coming from someone who has been in this situation for the second time – moving to a new country, no professional or social network, no clue where to start from, PLUS Visa issues – you should really consider me as a job hunting expert. Maybe I should write that in my resume?

If you thought Job Hunting is as simple as, updating your resume- looking for a suitable job online- applying through the company’s online job portal- hearing back from the employer- being called for a few job interviews – getting a job; then I’m sorry to say, world has moved on, and so should you.

First of all, applying through company’s online job portals, never NEVER works. I wonder why do recruiters even post openings on LiknedIn or Indeed or any other job portals when they are eventually going to hire an “internal candidate” or a “suitable referral”. Seriously! This is a cruel and sadistic joke on us Job seekers.

After devoting hours to applying for a job online, filling out fields after fields in an automated recruiting portal, and adhering to many more steps/ tests, more request for personal information, and more delays, we at least deserve a human phone call or a human email exchange before we donate another brain cell to an automated communication. Would it kill a hiring manager to at least confirm that he received your materials?
Two seconds!!! It takes two seconds for the automated Applicant tracking system to tell us that you can’t be hired because you did not have the keywords the employer was looking for. Who knows how many fantastic job seekers have been turned away because of this talent-repelling recruiting process?

However, here’s another approach that’s a little slower, but at least it gets you somewhere without sinking you in the black hole – Networking! That’s right. The more connections you make, the higher the chances that you’ll get to bypass the robot-stage of the process and get your resume in the right hands. The more human connections you have, the higher the odds you’ll get a real, valuable feedback.

This has always worked for me. Its very time consuming and only 10% of the people (God bless those people!) have time to spare for a job seeker. But even that 10% is a lot to build your network. We moved to Seattle 8 months back and I’ve been rigorously networking since then. I’ve been fortunate to find some exceptionally supportive connections who have helped refer me and expand my human connections in a new city.

Then why am I still unemployed? Well, that’s a cruel game played on me by my luck. To cut the long story short, as of last month, I had 3 amazing job offers in hand. I picked the one that aligned with my career aspirations the most and had a wonderful supportive team. It seemed like the end of my struggles. Heck, we even celebrated and took a trip to Mexico. 
But I had forgotten that it requires more than just skill, expertise, and multiple job offers, to work in this country. Much more!

Yup! so from 3 job offers last month, I am back to job hunting and scaling up the business of coffee houses in the city.

I can't say I wasn't heartbroken. It took me nearly 2 weeks, but now I’m over my 5 stages of grief and I hate to admit, but I think I’ve started enjoying job hunting a lot ;) What’s not to enjoy? I sit at different cafes all day, reach out to new people, make new connections, get away from my computer screen and network, update my blogs, and drink lots of coffee.  

I know the entire episode should have affected my confidence and morale negatively, but I think the reverse happened. It has challenged me to become the best version of me. Speaking to strangers, marketing myself, and writing persuasive emails are some of the few things I have mastered now.

So I guess what I’m trying to say here is, that I know some parts of the job search are pure torture (cough, waiting to hear back, cough), but take it as one of those “unenjoyable” activities that you know has a long term reaping benefit (cough, exercise, cough).

Finding a new job is usually a challenging process, and the new age recruiting process doesn’t make it any easier for us, but it is also an opportunity for memorable stories, discoveries, and personal and professional growth. The fun is there too – if you dig a little deeper… A LOT DEEPER!

Daycare – Only the hard ones survive

I’m not sure who suffers the most on a child’s first month at daycare. Is it the weeping child, the anxious parent, or the care provider trying to calm the child and the parent?

I can only speak from my perspective, and I’m gonna place my bet on – The parent.

Surviving First Day

Whether you are dropping your infant off for their first day ever away from the wicked awesomeness that is Mommy, or dropping your toddler off for their first day at a new daycare, the first day blows. The first time I dropped Ansh off at daycare, I sat outside his classroom and howled like a fat girl whose cake has been stolen. There were 10 crying kids in the room and somehow I could recognize his cry amongst all others. Yeah, this torture called motherhood, enables your sixth sense to recognize your kid’s voice even in a loud setup. That made me ever more depressed. So I sent a random parent inside to spy on him, who came outside and told me that my kid was sitting in a corner playing with dough, and not crying. “I don’t understand? I can hear him cry”. I was sure that he confused my kid with someone else’s, so I described him Ansh again. “Yeah! The ONLY Indian kid in class right? He is playing and not crying at all”.

Hmmmm…. So my sixth sense wasn’t working so well. But somehow, I didn’t want to believe him. I came home and cried even louder. At this point, I called my parents, my sister, my husband, my friends and everybody else I could think of who could make sense of my mumbling while crying. But none of them said anything different from what I already knew. “It’s good for him”. It’s only when Ansh’s teacher sent me his picture of playing with ball, did I breathe.

Surviving the Germ Pool

No, it’s not just an urban myth that daycares are cesspools of germs. Ear infection, Hand Foot and Mouth, roseola croup, you name it. Daycares are full of sexy- sounding illnesses that will invade your child.

Ansh started daycare 3 months ago. Yes, germ-filled, push-your-kid-off-the-swing set, pay-them-half-your-salary, daycare. And in the last 3 months, this is already his 19^th cold, my 4^th sore throat, and Ashish’s 100^th anxiety attack.

“Is he scratching his ear more than usual?” “How did he bump his head?” “What’s that on his knee?” “Does he look too pale to you?” “There’s something different about his eyebrow today” “He’s missing a hair from his head”… okay, I completely made up the last one, but this is exactly what he sounds like.

In most cases it’s just teething/ cold/ him trying to sap your will to live. That’s when we dose him up with Tylenol and pray that it gets better by the morning. Or for long enough to get to work, pour ourselves a cup of coffee and check our emails before we get The Call.

Surviving The Call

Every mom dreads seeing their daycare’s number come up on their phones. It is never them calling to let you know that your kid is a ray of sunshine and they just wanted you to know how much they love having them. It is daycare calling to let you know that he has hit his head again or that his fever is beyond the magic number of 100.1. And he needs to be picked up. The Call always seems to come when you are right in the middle of something important, like updating your blog. Great! This means, another week of sniffing, coughing, medicines, cranky baby and a cranky husband. Let me publish this post and then I’ll answer the call.

Surviving The Mean Kid

Every daycare has a mean kid. They are the one that you just look at and can see that their tiny beady eyes are filled with mirth. This is the kid that is always pushing, hitting, saying "mine!". You know, the one you have to fight off the urge on a daily basis to tell they are going to grow up with no friends. 

Surviving The Missed Milestone

It is inevitable that since our child is at daycare so often, he will hit some sort of milestone for them and not for us. Really? My baby said his first word/ learnt to eat by himself/ completed his doctoral thesis today? Thanks for letting me know.

Well, my point is, being a daycare mom isn’t a job of the fragile, I-can’t-drive-because-I got-Henna-on moms. If you got henna on your hands, you cover it up with toilet paper and keep moving. Because only the tough ones survive!