Dia is ONE whole month old today.
Enter the cliché ‘I can’t believe a month has passed’ sentiment right here.
Except, I prefer to say 4 weeks because 1 month sounds so long and like I
should have my act together by now. Ha!
One month past by in a flash, and
by the time I could gather my thoughts, it’s time to write down her first month
birthday blog. Why do I need to write a blog every month? Well, because I wrote
a blog every month for the first year of Ansh, and I do not want Dia to feel
like I got lazy when it came to her. And secondly, I want to have it written
down somewhere since I know from experience how those early weeks quickly
become a somewhat hard to remember blur!
So, my water broke at 4 am on
June 19th. I would have instantly woken up Ashish and my parents to
share my excitement with them, but the cleanliness freak in me nagged me to
clean the mess I had made before waking up anyone. Yup! I was mopping my
bathroom floor while I was in labor. Moreover, we had a false alarm two days
ago, when I woke up everyone in the middle of the night, dragged them to the
hospital, spent half a day there and came back with no baby. So, this time I wanted
to be a 100% sure that the baby was coming before I woke up my family from
their deep slumber. Sure enough, I was in labor. My labor lasted for 15 hours.
While we waited for her, we also convinced the nurses to take me off the
medicines for a while so I could record couple dance videos. To be fair, at
this point, I was only 6-7 cms dilated and the contractions weren’t super
painful (or maybe my pain threshold is really high). The real hard part was to convince my husband to let me do this. Plus, I was in a hospital
under the supervision of doctors, so nothing could have gone wrong. Here are my
videos of dancing in between contractions.
After 15 hours of labor and 1
hour of pushing, at the last ray of sun and a beautiful pink sky, our world got
brighter and fuller with the arrival of our princess, Dia. The moment I saw
her, I felt a gush of love in my throat and my very first thought was, “Ansh is
a big brother now. Our family is complete.”
First night at the hospital was
deceptively peaceful (but we already knew that from experience). All three of
us (Ashish, Dia and I) were worn out from a day of labor and delivery, and
after an hour or two of alert time (read: FaceTiming family), we all slept so
well that we had to be woken up to eat. I will admit that I was waking up in
intervals to take Dia’s pictures and just stare at her beautiful face. I might
have yelled at Ashish for not taking enough pictures of Dia the moment she was
born.
The next morning was particularly
very exciting for me. I had been waiting for this moment for a really long
time. The moment when Ansh sees his little sister. My heart was positively going
to melt. My parents brought Ansh to the hospital next morning. As he got closer
to the room, he had a skip in his walk. He was ecstatic to meet this little
sister that his parents had been talking about for months. He probably thought
that she was going come out and instantly start playing with him. I think he
was a little disappointed when he saw her, because his first words were, “Mama,
are we getting another one?”. I still thought it was the cutest reaction, and I’ll
cherish it forever.
From her very first cry, our lives changed
forever. I cried tears of my own as well (but that could also have been from
exhaustion and hormonal changes). First month with Dia has been beautiful and
everything we wanted it to be. The only thing that overwhelms me is watching
just how fast she is growing already. Even though the nights have been
sleepless, it seems as if the first weeks disappeared in a blink of an eye and
I am begging for them back. Every morning she seems like a completely different
person. I am stuck feeling so excited to see her grow, yet wishing time would
slow down so I could savor the moments even more. Maybe that is why I sometimes
just sit and stare at Ansh and Dia, willing the clock to stop for just a moment
so I can savor every detail.
I have a bunch of favorite moments from this
past one month:
·
Watching Ansh being a responsible big brother
and looking out for his sister. He
brings extra stickers from school for his sister.
·
Seeing the happiness on my parents face for
being grandparents again. It’s pure bliss when they sit down to play with my
kids. It’s almost like they’re kids all over again. I’ve been trying to record
every moment (no wonder I run out of memory space in my phone every few days).
·
Watching her smile in her sleep. It’s said that
means they are talking to the angles and I know this to be true because she has
the very best guardian angel watching over her. Her dadi.
·
A surprise visit from her Masi and Mausaji. Sisters
are always the best. I knew it in my heart that my sister will not be able to
keep from meeting her until October (which was the initial plan). She Video
called us one evening and I recognized the door behind her. It was mine. Ansh
and Dia are blessed to have the most loving masi ever. Though, she still wont
change their diapers.
·
Spending time with her nani. It’s like she connects
with her nani more than she connects with her mother. I know that’s true because
she seems very peaceful in her nani’s arms, as opposed to mine.
So how am I doing? Depends on when you
ask me!
Right now, as I’m typing with Dia
snoozing beside me, I say, ‘really great!’ Ask me around 4:30 most afternoons
and I’ll say ‘I’m so exhausted.’ Life with a newborn, especially the first
month, is like a blur and not at all glamorous. No matter, if it’s your first
kid or second, reality remains the same for all. No one is spared. When you
hear how it’s this peaceful and loving and bonding time… I want to know… who
are these people having that experience?
Time morphs and sometimes you’re left wondering “what did I do all day”?!?
I’m saying that only jokingly because I’m so in love with Dia and being her
mom. But when it’s 3am, you haven’t slept and you’re left wondering- didn’t I
just feed her/change her/swaddle her…what in the world is she fussing and
crying about?! There have been a few bouts of unexpected tears.
My emotions range from, please let them
stay these ages forever! to think of all the fun that’s to come when they get a
little bit bigger. I am fighting to get a little bit of me back too, but
telling myself to be patient, it will come. I’ve made it to the dance class
once.
So overall, we’re doing OK. I have so
much credit to give to my mom who’s paused her life for a while and is here to
help me with anything I need. I swear I haven’t entered the kitchen or cleaned
the house in last one month. I haven’t worried about paying extra attention to
Ansh or getting some ‘me time’. She has been the biggest help one could ask
for. I love my little family so much!
I’m sure with this long, rambling post I
provided more detail than you ever cared to know, but I wanted to pen down
everything before I forget.
