Husband Handling!

A few days before I got married in Delhi, under the watchful eyes of my father… many came up to me with their advises. Here are some of the advises I got.

1.      Don’t get married. I know a few places you can visit. You don’t have to be on your honeymoon for that

2.      If it is such a big issue, why don’t you get a cook? Or get another flat mate to share rent?

3.      No doubt gifts is a highlight, but consider the expenses

4.      Dogs are the best solution. They don’t nag/ argue, they listen to you talk all the time, they don’t snore and are always excited to see you.

5.      Don’t get married. It is all rosy till you keep meeting for only 2-3 hours a day. Once you get married you will start discovering things about Ashish you didn’t know and didn’t want to know. Things he has successfully hidden from you all this while.

The 5^th advisor, also a very good friend of mine (though I forgot his name) was right. I started discovering things about Ashish. Things he has managed to successfully hide from me. Like his love for cartoons… No, I am not talking about animated movies. I am talking about super hero cartoons. In fact, the only time he doesn’t criticize my cooking is when he is so engrossed in his fictional Batman/ Heman/ Superman/ Shaktiman characters ;) That’s when he’ll eat anything (even boiled-stir-fried vegetables).

I always knew I was marrying a cook. Honestly, it was a huge pressure off my little head. I knew we would be a happy couple, as my husband would never find faults in my cooking because he’ll never let me cook J But little did I know, that this cook only enters kitchen when in the mood, and takes HOURS to prepare a dish. So all those –I’ll-be-your-chef-for-life promises went down the drain. Now we just eat out and maggi (instant noodles) has become out staple diet ;)

Ashish is known to be a very humble, patient and a serene person. Someone who never loses his cool. Someone saintly. In so much contrast to my personality, that we completed each other like a jig-saw puzzle. But I saw a completely different person in him when he started yelling at me for jumping a red light, and then bumping my car, and then crashing into a dumpster. His personality drifts to this ghastly monster, every time I am on the driver’s seat. There is yelling, uncontrollable screaming and some sulking (Latter mostly from my end), followed by the entire drama about “That’s it! I’m never driving with you again”, or “I am pulling over, I’ll take a cab back”, or “stop screaming, you are making me nervous”.

SNORING. It’s been ages since I’ve had a good sound sleep… if you know me, you’ll also know how important my sleep is to me J His snoring has created distances between us (literally ;)) His snores are enough to wake up an entire floor of apartments. So much so, sometimes he wakes himself up ;) But the most annoying part is when he denies it all and plays innocent, “no, I never snore”. Somehow, even an audio and visual confirmation didn’t satisfy him as a proof ;)

Ashish has always been a very soft spoken person. So soft spoken that sometimes he can’t hear himself. At times, I think he doesn’t even open his mouth to talk ;) My dad has to turn off the fans every time Ashish is on phone with him, else Ashish is not audible. We never thought it could be such an issue in our relationship, until one day we realized that most of our fights end up with “You never told this to me”. Ever since that day, we decided that he will raise his hand every time he had to make a point ;) so if you ever see him raising his hand, that is not because he has to use the washroom, he simply has to make a point. Rest of the time, you’ll just see me talking ;)

But this post is not meant to only highlight the imperfections. It could also have a few praises in it for Ashish.

Quiet, shy, reserved, timid were usually the synonyms associated with Ashish. But ever since we got married, he has made it a point to accompany me to all the social gatherings, infact, now he even smiles back at people who pass a smile to him ;) he has been my permanent dance student and very boldly participates in every stage performance with me. If you knew him as a bachelor, it’s time to know him all over again. Because he is a changed man! My changed man! J

Goodbye Blurriness!

As long as I can remember myself, I know myself as this “almost” tall girl, with short frizzy hair, cavity prone teeth and thick glasses on face. That’s right; I was Ugly Betty sans braces.

I know the last time I mentioned my glasses on my blog I wasn’t too disappointed with them. In-fact I thought it helped take all the focus and attention from my otherwise acne attacked face to the thick “classy” frames. I thought I looked pretty in glasses. I continued to live in my disbelief and didn't succumb to all the remarks passed by those mean girls in school. I wasn’t even baffled when people spat at me and threw stones at me yelling, “nobody messes with Deepali”…. Oops! Oh that’s right. I WAS the mean girl.

But never the less, I guess my glasses have always protected me during a “knife” fight. Even when it came to us sisters, I think my parents favored me more because presumably I had a disadvantage over my sister. I was a special child. My dad even thought twice before slapping me because my glasses might break, and my sister was led to believe that I am my parent’s favorite child ;)

As much as I loved my glasses, I think it was time to let them go. It was time to move to a world where 7 AM didn’t look like 5AM on the wall clock (Don’t know how many times that got me late to work). I was ready to get my laser eye treatment. Of-course, my will was of least importance here; the decision had to be backed by Ashish’s research, feedbacks, and in-depth case analysis. After he was convinced that nothing wrong can happen to my eyes, and when he had no more arguments left, he then decided to empty his pockets.

A few hours later, my world was crystal clear. (I would have described the operation procedure, but it has scared a few people in the past; so I’ll skip that). It was frigging awesome! I could see everything. Suddenly, the famous dialogue from Koi Mil Gaya made so much sense to me “Ma, mujhe sab dikh raha hain ma” (Mom, I can see everything mom). And then began the “I can see every snowflake on that bench”; “I can read the phone number on that bill board”; “I know you’re not sleeping”. This continued until one day Ashish snapped at me and said, “I had never realized your nose was so big” ;)

That was enough to shut me up.

But my life now is so much lighter. I feel free without my glasses. This is probably the best decision I’ve ever made (Of-course after the decision of marrying Ashish… No, I am not being sarcastic ;))

The feeling of waking up in the morning and not having to look for your glasses before you can check your messages; is priceless. I can now distinguish between my shampoo and my conditioner without having to squint my eyes real hard. Even if I fall asleep watching television, my glasses don’t leave a mark on my face anymore. I can watch movies with much concentration now; without being distracted by heavy frames on my face.

I have realized that I am much more relaxed while driving now. Earlier, I was always terrified, what if I meet with an accident and the air bags popped out. It will break my glasses into pieces puncturing my eyes.  I now realize that I don’t have to worry about being in an accident anymore ;)

I only wish I had gotten this done while I was still in school. I can’t even imagine how easy life could have been during exams while cheating. Having to peep from the corner of my eye without turning my head and trying to fit the vision in my frames; was a nightmare ;)