Yes, seating arrangement in relationships change with time. My research in this area is spread over at least ten years (acknowledgments: close friends/ relatives, movies, books, World Wide Web and personal experience)
During this research, I am not taking into account the behavior of my mom and dad because back then eating in restaurants was a sin. Don`t believe me? Try ordering food from outside when your mother is visiting you. When I did, she asked me: “Why, the stove isn’t working?” The first time ever my dad took us all out for dinner was 18 years after I was born. And he is so proud of this fact that he announces it to the world ;)
Anyway, the conclusion of my research is as follows:
There are 5 different positions that a couple goes through in their life time (until they are blessed with kids and their lifetime comes to a halt). They are as follows:
This is the initial stage when the couple is just getting to know each other. During this time, they both are at their best behavior. They have thoroughly read books on table etiquettes, have notes prepared on topics to talk about, and are now all prepared to impress each other. At this phase, the gentleman takes charge, right from spotting the waiter to paying the bill (but an exception is considered when the gentleman is visiting India and does not have Indian currency in his pocket ;) The lady sits directly opposite to him. That way, a sneak peek into your “impromptu discussion topics” isn’t risky. At this stage, everything looks rosy. Everything he says somehow cracks you up. In fact this one time, I laugh so hard, that I almost pissed in my pants, but instead of being embarrassed, I kept on laughing. At this stage, you are thinking, “This guy is so funny. If I marry him, I’ll end up laughing all the time”. You don’t want the date to come to an end, and you stretch it out to the maximum. It usually ends with the guy saying, “Maybe, next time we should go to a better place” (Girls, be warned… the man is pitching for the next outing already)
By the time a couple reaches this stage, both have sworn loyalty to each other till death does them apart. Notice that the man still prefers to call the waiter and is willing to foot the bill (whether or not he has the currency ;). In this stage, the couple prefers to sit next to each other. The occasional brush of the legs and arms are cherished, and spoken about during late night phone calls in references like: “Remember that time when your shoe brushed against my shoe…that was heavenly.” This position also helps the couple get the same view, and thus help them make fun of other customers and have a hearty laugh. And when he says, “You look amazing, have you lost weight”, it’s a motivator at another level. At this time, the girl is thinking, “what could I have possibly done, to deserve a guy like him?”
By the time the couple reaches this stage, they know each other well but are still craving for more. Notice that the man still sits closer to the approaching waiter and thus is in command – he orders and he pays (again, considering the exception). In this stage, the chairs are pulled closer and the shoulders are almost touching. Since, in this stage the touching of shoulders is enough to send across an electric current… every trip to a restaurant is a shocking experience. By this time, you can’t wait to get married. Every couple at this stage is discussing their wedding plans and fantasizing about their future. Though in our case, we didn’t have to put in much effort into that, I had it all planned ever since I was 6, and I had my babies names picked out when I was 10.
Every restaurant seems great in this stage. The ambiance doesn`t matter…the food doesn`t matter. The couple believes that if they are together, they don`t need anything else. Notice the strange seating arrangement in this stage – which allows them to whisper into each other`s ears and yet allows them to gaze into each other`s eyes while they wait for the food. Somehow, time seems to fly, and you are thinking, “I hope the waiter takes longer to serve”. The only difference being, it’s not considered weird for the lady to pay bills now. Note for those that are not married: More often than not, the bank accounts merge after marriage.
This is the stage when the couple has realized that they won`t die if they stop touching the other partner. The lady now sits opposite to the man. Nothings sweet is whispered into each other’s ears …and neither a brush of the shoes send you shiver. An occasional “Sorry!” is heard, when their feet touch under the table. Some of the statements heard are: “Next time, remember not to bring me to this restaurant” & “These guys take so long to serve…why don`t they realize we come here to eat and not talk!”. It is the worst when you see other engaged couples in the restaurant, so much in love, and you just want to let them know that enjoy it while it lasts.
I am yet to discover other phases, but which stage do you relate to?
