If Men stop lying

What would happen if tomorrow all men in the World stop lying? They will start dying. Simple.

You probably think I said the men would be dying because it rhymed with lying. No…if I wanted a word that rhymed with lying…I would have gone with – crying, spying, eyeing, flying, sighing and vying…and I can assure you all of them would have made sense and yet rhymed with lying.

But believe me…the moment man stops lying…he will have no option left but to leave this world. The logic is simple…can fish live without water? Can bears live without salmons? Can butter flies live without necter? Can men live without lying?

Let’s take an example and judge for yourself:-

Mom: I look different today
Dad: I don’t think so. You look perfect as always
Mom: Do you think I look fat?

Now here, dad is left with two options. Either:

Dad: (after a long pause)… yeah. Maybe u’ve put on some weight. (and then apologize for the next few weeks)
Or
Dad: (Without a pause)… Not at all. You look exactly like on the day we got married (and expect a delicious meal)

Men from different religion, caste, creed, economic strata lie the same. I realized this fact only a few days back when Ashish dozed off while talking to me on the phone and I kept chatting for another 10 minutes while there was no response form his side. Considering the fact that he is a patient listener, I continued talking without any doubts in my mind until I heard him snore at the other end. Yes! He was snoring while talking to me. I remember how my dad would walk away or get pissed even if we yawned while he spoke to us and mind you, Ashish was SNORING. My dad and I share some common traits and short-temper, runs in our blood. So I yelled out his name loud. Loud enough to wake up his room mates. This is how our conversation followed:

Me: How dare you fall asleep while talking to me?
Ashish: I wasn’t sleeping. I was reading an article
Me: Then how-cum I heard you snore?
Ashish: Snore? (In his mind: How could I?) That’s not possible for two reasons: one, I don’t snore; two: I wasn’t sleeping. I was studying. I could show you the article I was reading if only you log on skype.
Me: Are you sure, you aren’t lying?
Ashish: (In his mind: I guess she’s buying it. Lets push it a little more) Of course. I would never lie to you

And that’s how he lied to me AGAIN.
But men are not to be blamed completely for lying. Women have a strong hand leading men to lie. Women will forgive and forget, but wont let men forgive that they have forgiven and forgotten. Just like for the next couple of months, I didn’t let go of the fact that he slept while talking to me and then lied and then lied again to cover the previous lie and again.