“I don’t know where to start from”… Boom… “Here, Let us start this one for you”
“I don’t know how to reach out to people to promote my dance classes”… Boom… “Don’t you worry; it’s been taken care of”
“Brrrr I am cold”… Boom… “A warm hug for you”
“That is such a pretty costume”… Boom…. “You can have it”
Sounds like a fairy tale? Well, it is. Only difference being, the girl in this story is not a pretty, fragile, porcelain skinned, tall, thin, red headed Barbie; but it’s just a simple, pretty Indian girl ;) and That’ll be me ;)
This fairy tale is about me and my magic wand. When I refused to stand in the long queue outside God’s door for our wishes to be granted, God himself came out and asked me what I wished for. No, he didn’t walk to me because I was the noisiest little kid, but because I am God’s favorite child. It has nothing to do with the fact that devotees standing close to me were born deaf.
That’s when I asked God for his Magic wand. Now, he couldn’t give me the one he carries himself as that would create riots on mother earth (He’s smarter than we think ;), so he instead gave me a bunch of friends. Friends, who not only accepted me in their very happy families, but guided me through every walk, supported me when I needed the most, celebrated with me, shared sorrows, loved me, pampered me, and most of all, helped me set myself up in a completely new country.
This post is dedicated to MY magical Friends in Ottawa (Tracey, Erika, Katherine and Catherine).
Like every normal individual, I was scared and anxious when I first landed in Canada. Didn’t know a single soul around (except for my anti-social husband), didn’t know how and where to start from, didn’t know how it worked here, the cultural difference, accent difference (not mine, but theirs’ ;)) and above all to cope up with the freezing winters. I got connected and finally met with this lovely bunch of ladies on a cool Thursday night. They were friendly, they laughed, and they passed on their warmth with a huge group hug.
I remember, Ashish and I celebrating immediately after our meeting, (even though it was -30 and wasn’t gonna get any better). I was so happy after meeting them, that I called my folks in India at 3 in the night and told them that I’ve found my magic wand Ever since that day, everything seems to fall in place.
Be it working towards my dream of starting my own dance classes; to finding a perfect job for myself; to adjusting to the culture; to going out of their way promoting me; to designing my website; to help me house hunt; to introducing me to Cherpumple; and to accept me as a part of their lives; these gems have made me teary and overwhelmed with love at every instance. Sometimes, they would surprise me with a congratulations card and celebrations on getting my new job; or sometimes leave me stunned and shocked with a surprise B’day party; or sometimes leave me astonished with unexpected gifts, or just surprise me with a facilitation in front of the entire auditorium.
Over the last one year, we have had endless laughs, parties, camping, gatherings, celebrations, dressing up, dances, dances and more dances. And god willing, there’ll be many more to come.
Not everyone is lucky enough to get such loving friends everywhere. I guess I am the CHOSEN ONE :)
Friday, January 6, 2012
Wednesday, December 7, 2011
Our Seating Arrangement has changed
I am no behavioral psychologist, so please take whatever I say in this post with a pinch of salt. You will be happy to know that what I am going to tell you always happen around a dining table in a restaurant – so salt will be at arm’s length.
Yes, seating arrangement in relationships change with time. My research in this area is spread over at least ten years (acknowledgments: close friends/ relatives, movies, books, World Wide Web and personal experience)
During this research, I am not taking into account the behavior of my mom and dad because back then eating in restaurants was a sin. Don`t believe me? Try ordering food from outside when your mother is visiting you. When I did, she asked me: “Why, the stove isn’t working?” The first time ever my dad took us all out for dinner was 18 years after I was born. And he is so proud of this fact that he announces it to the world ;)
Anyway, the conclusion of my research is as follows:
There are 5 different positions that a couple goes through in their life time (until they are blessed with kids and their lifetime comes to a halt). They are as follows:
This is the initial stage when the couple is just getting to know each other. During this time, they both are at their best behavior. They have thoroughly read books on table etiquettes, have notes prepared on topics to talk about, and are now all prepared to impress each other. At this phase, the gentleman takes charge, right from spotting the waiter to paying the bill (but an exception is considered when the gentleman is visiting India and does not have Indian currency in his pocket ;) The lady sits directly opposite to him. That way, a sneak peek into your “impromptu discussion topics” isn’t risky. At this stage, everything looks rosy. Everything he says somehow cracks you up. In fact this one time, I laugh so hard, that I almost pissed in my pants, but instead of being embarrassed, I kept on laughing. At this stage, you are thinking, “This guy is so funny. If I marry him, I’ll end up laughing all the time”. You don’t want the date to come to an end, and you stretch it out to the maximum. It usually ends with the guy saying, “Maybe, next time we should go to a better place” (Girls, be warned… the man is pitching for the next outing already)
By the time a couple reaches this stage, both have sworn loyalty to each other till death does them apart. Notice that the man still prefers to call the waiter and is willing to foot the bill (whether or not he has the currency ;). In this stage, the couple prefers to sit next to each other. The occasional brush of the legs and arms are cherished, and spoken about during late night phone calls in references like: “Remember that time when your shoe brushed against my shoe…that was heavenly.” This position also helps the couple get the same view, and thus help them make fun of other customers and have a hearty laugh. And when he says, “You look amazing, have you lost weight”, it’s a motivator at another level. At this time, the girl is thinking, “what could I have possibly done, to deserve a guy like him?”
By the time the couple reaches this stage, they know each other well but are still craving for more. Notice that the man still sits closer to the approaching waiter and thus is in command – he orders and he pays (again, considering the exception). In this stage, the chairs are pulled closer and the shoulders are almost touching. Since, in this stage the touching of shoulders is enough to send across an electric current… every trip to a restaurant is a shocking experience. By this time, you can’t wait to get married. Every couple at this stage is discussing their wedding plans and fantasizing about their future. Though in our case, we didn’t have to put in much effort into that, I had it all planned ever since I was 6, and I had my babies names picked out when I was 10.
Every restaurant seems great in this stage. The ambiance doesn`t matter…the food doesn`t matter. The couple believes that if they are together, they don`t need anything else. Notice the strange seating arrangement in this stage – which allows them to whisper into each other`s ears and yet allows them to gaze into each other`s eyes while they wait for the food. Somehow, time seems to fly, and you are thinking, “I hope the waiter takes longer to serve”. The only difference being, it’s not considered weird for the lady to pay bills now. Note for those that are not married: More often than not, the bank accounts merge after marriage.
This is the stage when the couple has realized that they won`t die if they stop touching the other partner. The lady now sits opposite to the man. Nothings sweet is whispered into each other’s ears …and neither a brush of the shoes send you shiver. An occasional “Sorry!” is heard, when their feet touch under the table. Some of the statements heard are: “Next time, remember not to bring me to this restaurant” & “These guys take so long to serve…why don`t they realize we come here to eat and not talk!”. It is the worst when you see other engaged couples in the restaurant, so much in love, and you just want to let them know that enjoy it while it lasts.
I am yet to discover other phases, but which stage do you relate to?
Yes, seating arrangement in relationships change with time. My research in this area is spread over at least ten years (acknowledgments: close friends/ relatives, movies, books, World Wide Web and personal experience)
During this research, I am not taking into account the behavior of my mom and dad because back then eating in restaurants was a sin. Don`t believe me? Try ordering food from outside when your mother is visiting you. When I did, she asked me: “Why, the stove isn’t working?” The first time ever my dad took us all out for dinner was 18 years after I was born. And he is so proud of this fact that he announces it to the world ;)
Anyway, the conclusion of my research is as follows:
There are 5 different positions that a couple goes through in their life time (until they are blessed with kids and their lifetime comes to a halt). They are as follows:
This is the initial stage when the couple is just getting to know each other. During this time, they both are at their best behavior. They have thoroughly read books on table etiquettes, have notes prepared on topics to talk about, and are now all prepared to impress each other. At this phase, the gentleman takes charge, right from spotting the waiter to paying the bill (but an exception is considered when the gentleman is visiting India and does not have Indian currency in his pocket ;) The lady sits directly opposite to him. That way, a sneak peek into your “impromptu discussion topics” isn’t risky. At this stage, everything looks rosy. Everything he says somehow cracks you up. In fact this one time, I laugh so hard, that I almost pissed in my pants, but instead of being embarrassed, I kept on laughing. At this stage, you are thinking, “This guy is so funny. If I marry him, I’ll end up laughing all the time”. You don’t want the date to come to an end, and you stretch it out to the maximum. It usually ends with the guy saying, “Maybe, next time we should go to a better place” (Girls, be warned… the man is pitching for the next outing already)
By the time a couple reaches this stage, both have sworn loyalty to each other till death does them apart. Notice that the man still prefers to call the waiter and is willing to foot the bill (whether or not he has the currency ;). In this stage, the couple prefers to sit next to each other. The occasional brush of the legs and arms are cherished, and spoken about during late night phone calls in references like: “Remember that time when your shoe brushed against my shoe…that was heavenly.” This position also helps the couple get the same view, and thus help them make fun of other customers and have a hearty laugh. And when he says, “You look amazing, have you lost weight”, it’s a motivator at another level. At this time, the girl is thinking, “what could I have possibly done, to deserve a guy like him?”
By the time the couple reaches this stage, they know each other well but are still craving for more. Notice that the man still sits closer to the approaching waiter and thus is in command – he orders and he pays (again, considering the exception). In this stage, the chairs are pulled closer and the shoulders are almost touching. Since, in this stage the touching of shoulders is enough to send across an electric current… every trip to a restaurant is a shocking experience. By this time, you can’t wait to get married. Every couple at this stage is discussing their wedding plans and fantasizing about their future. Though in our case, we didn’t have to put in much effort into that, I had it all planned ever since I was 6, and I had my babies names picked out when I was 10.
Every restaurant seems great in this stage. The ambiance doesn`t matter…the food doesn`t matter. The couple believes that if they are together, they don`t need anything else. Notice the strange seating arrangement in this stage – which allows them to whisper into each other`s ears and yet allows them to gaze into each other`s eyes while they wait for the food. Somehow, time seems to fly, and you are thinking, “I hope the waiter takes longer to serve”. The only difference being, it’s not considered weird for the lady to pay bills now. Note for those that are not married: More often than not, the bank accounts merge after marriage.
This is the stage when the couple has realized that they won`t die if they stop touching the other partner. The lady now sits opposite to the man. Nothings sweet is whispered into each other’s ears …and neither a brush of the shoes send you shiver. An occasional “Sorry!” is heard, when their feet touch under the table. Some of the statements heard are: “Next time, remember not to bring me to this restaurant” & “These guys take so long to serve…why don`t they realize we come here to eat and not talk!”. It is the worst when you see other engaged couples in the restaurant, so much in love, and you just want to let them know that enjoy it while it lasts.
I am yet to discover other phases, but which stage do you relate to?
Thursday, October 6, 2011
Facebook Rules!
After spending nearly 3/4th of my day on facebook (henceforth referred to as FB), checking on my close friends status updates, browsing through “not-so-close” friends profiles, learning more about “acquaintances” and spying upon my enemies, I (like everybody else) am hereby going to criticize about how our social life is merely limited to poking, liking, tagging and at the most inviting friends to play games ONLINE!
I personally, am a huge FB fan. It not only connected me to my oldest friend who I didn’t even know existed, but also helps me keep a tag on who’s gaining weight faster than I am! But what bugs me the most is, when this younger generation ( i.e. only a couple years younger than me) would start using acronyms all over FB (You are my BFBFF), which makes it difficult for REGULAR people, who then have to rely on Google to make some sense out of it (I’m not talking about me here. I’m pretty smart!). But once you know it, it’s kinda addictive (See what I did there ;)). For those, not so smart people who want to Google BFBFF now, I’m making your life easier. It stands for Best Facebook Friend Forever :)
Everybody seems to be using FB lingo these days. A colleague walked upto me to tell me that I am not his “Friend”. Can you imagine the plight of a pretty, humble, self obsessed and highly social young girl like me, on hearing this? I was almost going to update my status to “I am shattered” when he made it clear that he was talking about being my FBF (Facebook Friend). I was happy again and posted a smiley on my status, just like this one --> :)
Also, I don’t understand the deal with “like” button. Why does FB bother to give the option of “liking” my own comment? Of course I like my own comments. I am awesome. But some people merely use “like’ button to mark their presence and yet avoid making smart comments. They are usually the ones who “like” to sit back and watch rather than participate. Similar is the concept of “poking”. You want your friends to know that you’re thinking of them, yet don’t want to make an effort of saying it. So “poke” around.
A friends Status said “My friend updated on fb that he was standing on the edge of a cliff… so I poked him” :)
And what’s with the relationship status updates? No one seems to take it seriously. One moment people are in a relationship and the other moment they are single. C’mon guys, some of our parents are on FB too. We have to explain it on your behalf. It must be a joke for some, but for some it’s a serious affair. Like when Mrs Bin Laden updated her FB status to single ;)
But it’s not really our fault. It’s the social media which is taking over. Talk about Youtube? It seems to have EVERYTHING you need. Sometimes I have to tell my dance students to dance like no one is going to put it on Youtube :)
I want to merge MySpace, Facebook, YouTube, and Twitter and call it: MY FACE YOU TWIT. (joke courtesy: someone smart)
Now, I’ll sign off at this juncture and update my fb status to “Blog Updated”. Meanwhile, you try to figure out this one “Hello everyone. Look at your status, now back to mine, now back to yours, now back to mine. Sadly, yours isn’t mine. But if you stopped posting about other things and made this your status, yours could be like mine. Look down, back up. Where are you? You’re on Facebook, reading the status your status could be like”
I personally, am a huge FB fan. It not only connected me to my oldest friend who I didn’t even know existed, but also helps me keep a tag on who’s gaining weight faster than I am! But what bugs me the most is, when this younger generation ( i.e. only a couple years younger than me) would start using acronyms all over FB (You are my BFBFF), which makes it difficult for REGULAR people, who then have to rely on Google to make some sense out of it (I’m not talking about me here. I’m pretty smart!). But once you know it, it’s kinda addictive (See what I did there ;)). For those, not so smart people who want to Google BFBFF now, I’m making your life easier. It stands for Best Facebook Friend Forever :)
Everybody seems to be using FB lingo these days. A colleague walked upto me to tell me that I am not his “Friend”. Can you imagine the plight of a pretty, humble, self obsessed and highly social young girl like me, on hearing this? I was almost going to update my status to “I am shattered” when he made it clear that he was talking about being my FBF (Facebook Friend). I was happy again and posted a smiley on my status, just like this one --> :)
Also, I don’t understand the deal with “like” button. Why does FB bother to give the option of “liking” my own comment? Of course I like my own comments. I am awesome. But some people merely use “like’ button to mark their presence and yet avoid making smart comments. They are usually the ones who “like” to sit back and watch rather than participate. Similar is the concept of “poking”. You want your friends to know that you’re thinking of them, yet don’t want to make an effort of saying it. So “poke” around.
A friends Status said “My friend updated on fb that he was standing on the edge of a cliff… so I poked him” :)
And what’s with the relationship status updates? No one seems to take it seriously. One moment people are in a relationship and the other moment they are single. C’mon guys, some of our parents are on FB too. We have to explain it on your behalf. It must be a joke for some, but for some it’s a serious affair. Like when Mrs Bin Laden updated her FB status to single ;)
But it’s not really our fault. It’s the social media which is taking over. Talk about Youtube? It seems to have EVERYTHING you need. Sometimes I have to tell my dance students to dance like no one is going to put it on Youtube :)
I want to merge MySpace, Facebook, YouTube, and Twitter and call it: MY FACE YOU TWIT. (joke courtesy: someone smart)
Now, I’ll sign off at this juncture and update my fb status to “Blog Updated”. Meanwhile, you try to figure out this one “Hello everyone. Look at your status, now back to mine, now back to yours, now back to mine. Sadly, yours isn’t mine. But if you stopped posting about other things and made this your status, yours could be like mine. Look down, back up. Where are you? You’re on Facebook, reading the status your status could be like”
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