A Letter to My Sweet 9-Year-Old Son: Celebrating Your Last Year in Single Digits

 My sweet darling baby boy,

I can’t believe it’s that time of the year AGAIN. Your final year in single digits… Whaaa? Nooo! I’m gonna cry!!! This one came too quickly, almost without a warning.

It would be a cliché for me to start by telling you I don’t know where the last nine years have gone by, so I won’t. But I will let you know that I am enjoying every single second of watching you grow into the young man I see in my home every day.

I swear, I blinked and you flew from my arms to the real world, making it more beautiful with your existence. 

One of your friend's moms recently sent me a text that read, 

“We appreciate having Ansh in school so much. Everyone loves him and the kids are nicer and better behaved when he’s there.”

That’s just who you are. All you.

You get your baseball batting talent from your dad, a fair share of your beautiful goofiness, and your sense of humor come from him as well. 

I’d like to believe I’m passing the willingness to help others on to you, along with a courageous heart and bold spirit. But this goodness in your soul? That’s all you, my love. I cannot tell you how lucky I am to be your mom.

This year, you finished 3rd grade, took to baseball like you were born for it, started doing crazy math in your head, went out of your way to help your friends, hugged me every day before leaving for school, snuggled on the couch with me on movie nights, and STILL hold my hand and my heart.

You are such a responsible kiddo. One day you called me from the school office to remind me that you had art that day, so I shouldn’t come to pick you up at the bus stop. Just how did you know I was getting ready to head to the bus stop?

What I love the most about you is how emotionally aware you are of everyone’s feelings. You go out of your way to make sure everyone feels welcome and can’t stand to see anyone hurting. That sad feeling you sometimes get when you see someone hurting or upset on TV or in the movies? That’s empathy. That you possess this trait at your age is a treasure. Don’t ever lose that.

I am proud that you are my son. I hope I tell you that often enough.

A few most memorable conversations that I had with you this year:

Ansh: "Maybe when I’m older, I can open my own shop and sell Maggi." 

Me: "That would be fantastic"

Ansh: "But I also want to be a chess player and baseball player. What if I don’t get time?"

Me: "You’ll find time. If you really want to do something, you will have to juggle and work hard. You’ve seen how dad and I work, right?"

Ansh: "Well, let’s just hope when I grow up, I don’t have kids. Coz they are so distracting"

---

Ansh: "My brain is hurting a lot today."

Me: "What do you mean? Because you’re sleepy? Why is your brain hurting?" 

Ansh: "Maybe because I used it a lot today."

---

During a sleepover at Vinay’s: 

Vinay: "Ansh, you should go to sleep."

Ansh: "I don’t understand why parents don’t have to sleep." 

Vinay: "What do you mean? I’m going to sleep now."

Ansh: "But my mom never sleeps?"

Oh Ansh, you teach me so much about life and love every day. You make me strong in ways I never thought I could be. Being your mom is nothing short of a privilege. I pray that you keep being kind and caring, carry on being funny and silly; and you keep trying your best in everything.

Happy 9th, my darling boy. This year is a little different as you’re mourning the loss of your dadu, but know that he is your guardian angel and always watching over you. His warm, big bear hugs are something you’ll always cherish. He’d want only the best for you.

Go on, my boy. Be bright. Be bold. Be loving. And go spread your sunshine in the world.

Love you forever,

Mom

Israel - Palestine: Who's right? Who's wrong?

Last few days, my brain has been completely taken over by history of Israel- Palestine, and my sleeps are broken by nightmares of their radicals. The more I read about it, the harder it gets for me to comment, because there are million opinions. To comment on Israel – Palestine/ Hamas, I had to dive deep into the history of Israel (which by the way, a lot of Arab countries still don’t recognize), and Palestine 

And unfortunately, I still don’t know who’s right and who’s wrong. 🙈

While in southern Israel, Hamas’s terrorists broke into a room where a family of five was hiding and slaughtered every one of them. In Gaza, a father wrapped in gauze held his child, butchered in an Israeli strike, for the last time. 😢

So, here’s a moral test: Do you believe that it is wrong for innocent people to suffer this way? That mass death should be criticized, not defended, regardless of who its victims are? If the answer to either of those questions is no, then you are a morally broken person. 👈

👉 We’re asking Israel to cease fire; but why aren’t we asking Hamas to return those 230 hostages? 

👉 Media is covering stomach wrenching stories from Gaza hospitals displaying unimaginable conditions of children; but why isn’t it showing how are the Israeli hostages being treated (many of whom are children)? 

👉 If we’re asking US to defund Israel; in retrospect, we’re empowering Hamas (which is a terrorist (Oops, the governing authority) organization of Palestine) to keep on with its atrocities towards Israel.

To take one side or another would need deep dive into the history; and truly being aware of both sides and not just being fed one narrative. 

Currently, the Israeli government is rounding up on a ground invasion of Gaza that threatens to come with unimaginable human loss. The callousness with which they are talking about civilian deaths as “collateral damage” Gaza is appalling.

When the defense minister talks about cutting off electricity and water to Gaza, he speaks only of fighting Hamas “animals” — not of the hospital patients and formula-fed babies likely to die as a consequence.

Evil 

On the other side, Hamas does not gleefully post pictures of Israeli children executed in their beds. Instead, they cheer for pictures of Hamas breaking down the border fence with Gaza, calling it “decolonization” — ignoring that Hamas fighters broke down those fences to commit intolerable acts of mass slaughter.

This. Is. Evil. Too

I do not pretend to know exactly what the right choice is for Israel going forward. But I know that if someone would attack my homeland, kill 1400 innocent people, rape women, slaughter kids, and take 230 hostages; I would be raging too. 

I also know that justice for Israelis and Palestinians cannot be found through a mode of thinking that says only one kind of life is holy.

There are good people, kind people, in both Israel and the Palestinian territories — brave souls looking to help those on the other side, amid unspeakable tragedy, and together make the land they share safe for everyone. Some of those people have already been killed by the other side; more will likely die in the coming days.

Some of us see a power imbalance that makes it impossible for Palestinians to triumph in anything like a conventional war. So, we’re asking: How do you want Palestine to resist? What can they do when they’re are so weak?

Others are essentially asking the same question. Israel is facing remorseless murderers who once used a hospital as their headquarters. They’re using humans as shields. They have a right to defend themselves and get their hostages back. And if they don’t, Hamas will keep terrorizing them. What can they do?

You can see where both of these perspectives are coming from. It’s true that Israel has overwhelming power and is using it to collateralize Palestinians on a daily basis. It’s also true that Hamas is a vicious group dedicated to a violently antisemitic worldview, one that has no qualms about brutalizing Israelis.

But by taking one set of facts in isolation of the other, we are displacing our own moral obligations. 

If your brain is not broken by now, then read on as I think there is only one way this decades-old conflict can end: with Israelis and Palestinians, including their leadership, finding a way to live in peace. A two-state solution. The most obvious one! 

Our role, as outsiders, should be to help foster this belief. 

More broadly, we need as outside observers to maintain basic human values in ourselves: to see the victims on both sides as humans, to care about suffering, and to attune our statements and activities toward finding ways forward that can improve the situation. If we allow ourselves to slide into moral supporting only one side, we won’t merely justify atrocities; we will blind ourselves to the steps that can be taken to actually make life better.

We can and should extend sympathy to Israeli victims, but we should not let that shade into justification for retaliatory atrocities. We should condemn Hamas terrorism, but we should also condemn Israeli abuses against Gazans.

Criticize Israel when it slaughters Palestinians and criticize Palestinians when they slaughter Israelis. 

This is not just how we say the right things about the Israeli-Palestinian conflict: It’s how we, in the end, will figure out how best to contribute to peace down the line. 

To think otherwise, and find fault only with one side, leads to the moral oblivion of cheering the slaughter of children.

Eight is Enough!

 Ok Sweet Buddy…. Eight is Enough. 

Anytime you want to stop growing and remain just as sweet, innocent, and full of joy as you are right now, I’m game.  

Your reply to this is usually, “but mama, I don’t know how to stop growing?” 

Or 

“But mama, I want to be 12 so I can get my own phone” 

Little do you know that your dad might push that age limit by another 5 years 😉 

I’ve now known you for 8 years and I love you more each morning and each evening. I am excited every day to pick you up from school and listen to all you have to tell me each day. Even if it is, “I’m sorry mama, I lost my jacket again”. 

That’s right! This was the third jacket in 3 days. But oh well! At least you were sorry 😉

Taking a moment to share this picture (I grab any opportunity to bring this one up). 

After 17 hours of labour, at 5:17 PM, my perfect 8.1 pound gorgeous baby boy graced this planet with his presence. The world’s been a better and brighter place since then. With your eyes wide open, clean as if you’d just had a bath, and a head full of hair neatly pulled to one side, you were ready for a photoshoot since day 1.

Ansh, you are such a kind and a smart kid. But what truly stands out about you is your high emotional quotient. You’re so empathetic and always aware of your surroundings. Making sure everyone feels loved, you are very generous with your hugs and kisses too. 

However, this also means that you have such a big heart, that it gets deeply impacted by things. Like, yesterday when I explained to you how paper was made, you came back home, went to your room, cried in a corner, and felt sorry for using all the paper in school. It took me a whole of 2 minutes to distract you with your birthday present 😉 

You can sense when Dia and Arth are seconds apart from pulling out each other’s hair, and you deflect them immediately. A perfect big brother. Dia and Arth are blessed to have you. You try to always say kind things. 

However, you are a bit of a smart mouth. Oh well, you get that from your dad. Like, the other day when I was mad at you for losing your new toy, and asked you, “where do you think we get the money from?”, your answer in a split second was, “a machine?” 

You’re witty, and your laugh is so infectious. 

You love playing chess and want to be a ‘famous’ chess player when you grow up. If not that, an ice cream man! But atleast, you have your options clear in your head 😉 

You also have a very strong mind of your own. There’s no winning an argument with you. Because everything ends with, “Mom, I don’t have to be perfect” 

“It’s okay to not like doing homework. I don’t have to be perfect” 

“It’s okay if my coloring is bad. I don’t have to be perfect” 

“It’s okay if my teeth get bad because I eat sugar after brushing my teeth. I don’t have to be perfect”

How did you get so big so fast Ansh? I want to cuddle and squeeze you forever. Even though this morning, when you lay on me and said that you will always be my ‘baby’, I can see the baby slipping away by the day, being replaced by a boy with a heart and mind of his own. I am raising you for these moments, but I confess to knowing I will miss the ‘little’ you. 

If there’s one thing I emphasize to you every day, it is, to love. You’ve asked me a few times what your religion is, and I have told you, it’s love. Give hugs, love with all your heart, express gratitude and treat everyone with kindness! It’s your superpower! 

It’s been an absolute pleasure to see you and Dia grow such a beautiful bond together. Dia is your biggest fan, and you make sure you live upto her expectations. You were once told that your number 1 job is to love and protect your sister and you take that job pretty seriously. 

Favorite part of my day is when you’re trying to make her laugh. Both of your laughs are so infectious that we all end up in splits. 

You are extraordinary Ansh. My heart melts when I watch you do the things you love, when you hug your sister, say thank you to a stranger, call your dad your hero or tell me you need a hug or if I can scratch your back 😉 

It is my honor to be your mom and to help shape you from this sweet boy into the young man you are becoming. 

I love you, my Buddy. 

Love, Mommy